Ep 40 - This is The Last Eating Program You’ll Ever Do - Brooke’s Story

November 14,2024

Brooke made a promise to herself when she joined the Confident Eater Group- this was the last program she’d ever spend money on. And she was right.

She was doing Noom at the time she found me and after 8+ years of dieting, she knew she needed something completely different to stop overeating for good.

Listen to her story to hear…

• Does Noom actually work?

• Her favorite thoughts to use when getting an urge to eat

• How we used visualization to stop snacking at night

• The tip that helped her learn enjoy mindful eating

Amber: Hello, confident eaters. Happy Thursday. Today we have a super fun episode where you are going to get a look inside Brooke's story and the changes she's made inside of the confident eater program. She did the small group, which is actually now open for a limited time, but we are closing very soon, just this Tuesday, November 19th. And this is where you'll get to become the confident eater who stops binge eating, who stops overeating for good. So all of the details are going to be in the show notes along with the link to book a free consultation call with me. So Brooke, why don't you say hi and introduce yourself a little?

Brooke: Sure. My name is Brooke and I am from very small town, Iowa, 200 people in my town. And I am married and a mama of two kiddos and I stayed home with them.

Amber: Amazing. And so tell me a bit about where you were at the beginning of this program when you were ready to join and what was going on with food for you then.

Brooke: Yeah. So at that point I had pretty much tried all of the diets out there and was just kind of over, you know, all of that. And I was like, there has to be a different way of living. And so I had a lot of bad habits that I had developed over the years, we talk about diet culture and I've really been diving into that in my studies and seeing how immersed into that I was, Not so much a binge eater, but a big time overeater.

During dinnertime, but then also I'd like snack throughout the day and it was just very mindless picking throughout the day. And I just felt very out of control. Like there was nothing I could do about it. This is just who I am. I overeat every day and that's me. And I had a, Really negative relationship with my body.

I was very disconnected from it. I had gotten to the point where I didn't know you could listen to your body or your body had any intuition and didn't know how to listen to it and tap back into that. And obviously no self confidence at all. Seems how I felt like I wasn't able to have any self control.

Amber: Yeah. And tell us about some of the things that you were trying in order to change these habits.

Brooke: I did  pretty much all of the 

big diets out there. And most recently, I think right when I started the program, I was doing the app called Noom, which I had heard a lot about and had a lot of recommendations on. And it was cool because you got to learn about the science of health and things like that.

I had a lot of, Facts and you know, why you're not losing weight and things like that. And that was cool to get some intuition on that. But for me, I was just so over tracking things. It gets exhausting. You have to just track everything in your day between food and water intake. And it was taking up so much time in my life.

And it was also just so focused on my weight and food. I just focused on food all day and I was. Thinking there has to be more to life than just being so focused on my body image and food.

Amber: Yeah, I think from what I've heard of Noom, and I was asking Brooke to tell us a bit about it so we can get like the insider scoop, but from what I've heard about it, you're really tracking your calories and it's a color system too, right? Where it's like green, yellow, red. Is that right?

Brooke: Yeah. So it's kind of like good medium and bad foods. They don't label it as bad foods, but you know, we always associate, I think it's orange. They do.   

as far as like calorie density   

is what they do it based off of.

Amber: Right, which on the surface, like, it's good to have that knowledge to be aware, like, peanut butter is more calorie dense, cake is more calorie dense, to have that awareness around it. But I have a big problem with that color system, just because, like you said, our brains have a lot of associations with colors.

There's a whole color psychology that people study for years and years, and interior design, and clothing and things, and Just those colors alone automatically are giving an association with our brain that hey These things are probably bad and for most of the ex dieters We already have those associations that these things are bad.

And so it can kind of further Deepen that association And that can make it even harder to get out of the diet culture thoughts and then we're still obsessing over How many calories in it are we being good with these foods? Are we doing enough? And not how natural eaters eat.

Natural eaters don't use a point system. They don't use colors. They don't use calories. They go by how their body feels and if they're hungry and if they're full.

I also think that it kind of sounds like a glorified MyFitnessPal, which is what, like, my thing was always tracking calories, and MyFitnessPal is free. So you have to pay for Noom, too. So I see Noom as kind of like MyFitnessPal in disguise. Where on the surface, it can help us because it does feel like we're gaining more control. But underneath it, it really is an artificial method of control when we're not really actually learning any real skills. And while I know they teach you about like the psychology of eating and the habits, unless we apply that information, it's not going to do anything. And this is where I always see people having the biggest struggles is they say like, well, I have some idea of what to do. Although sometimes I'd question that.

I think there's even a deeper layer of information that we need. But even if you think you know what to do and you're not doing it, that's probably because you're having some unconscious blocks or you've wired your brain like a diet brain and so it's still acting like a dieter even though you have the information.

Did you find that to be true for you?

Brooke: even though there's good things that come out of it, they still put you in like starvation and deprivation mode, even if they have good intentions. Like I've done my fitness pal too. And I think they had me on like 1200 calories a day or something, which I was just hungry all day and I don't know how many calories they had me on with noon, but it was the same thing.

It's just like, Oh, well I've hit my max for today. I guess I can't eat anymore. And my body is like, no, please feed me more.

Amber: Right? And every day is so different. Like, we can never know what our body needs on an exact day. Some days we're more hungry, some days we're less hungry. And we have to be flexible for whatever comes up that day as our true needs.

Brooke: and every body is different too. You can't just.

Put a couple pieces of information into an app and then say, okay, this is how much you can eat today.

Amber: Yeah, like, imagine if you had your kids, and Mhmm. The doctor told them, you know, all two year olds need 1, 200 calories a day, which is actually true. Like, 1, 200 calories is how much a two year old needs, and that we're telling a grown adult woman to have that, like, it's ridiculous. But if we were to tell your two year old, you only get 1, 200 calories a day, that's what the doctor said is recommended for a two year old.

And they're like, but I'm hungry today, I need more food. And you're like, too bad, this is probably your perfect amount, because that's what the doctor said. Or they said, you know, I'm just not really hungry that day. It's like, well, maybe they're just not so hungry. And it's like their body's not going to let them starve.

And our body's the same way. It's not going to let us starve. If it's getting underfed, it's going to send out these strong urges to get us to eat more.

So how long were you struggling with food before this? What was like about how long was your food journey?

Brooke: So about maybe eight to 10 years ago, I moved from Iowa to Oregon and that was a huge culture shock for me. And a lot more stress came along with that than I ever, Anticipated. I had traveled a lot before that and thought that I could handle it. No problem. But there's just something different about moving to a new state and thinking it's going to be a permanent move and becoming a part of a new family and all of these things.

And so I definitely took comfort in food. And I come from a family of pretty intuitive eaters. So prior to that, I never had a unhealthy relationship with food. And so, yeah, it really started there. And as I started realizing that I was gaining unwanted weight and getting more and more stressed out and, you know, the weight gain caused more stress and then that's when I really got immersed into diet culture.

And it just continued to escalate throughout the years.

Amber: Yeah. So tell us about where you are now with food and some of the changes you've started to make throughout the program.

Brooke: So I definitely enjoy my food more. There's no guilt. I have learned to eat a lot slower and taste my food. I choose quality over quantity. And as you say, I feel like I'm more in touch with my higher brain. I understand the difference between the higher brain and lower brain and how to utilize that.

I understand that I'm in control of my own actions. And I just have gotten the tools to be able to handle urges and things that happen in your day to day that You just don't even think about prior to having these tools.

Amber: Can you give us an example of a recent time that you've like used one of these tools or you felt like you navigated through an urge?

Brooke: So I have this obsession with having a night snack and the snack that I usually have is a pretty big dense snack. And so that's a couple hours after dinner, right before I'm about to go to bed. And if my body needs that, there's nothing wrong with that, but I've already had dinner.

I'm just about to go to bed and it's really just this habit that I've gotten into. And so, I've had to navigate, you know, my lower brain throwing a fit when I'm like, Nope, I don't need this snack tonight. I'm not hungry. And so some of the tools that I've been able to use is one, just like sitting with the urge, taking some breaths and also Just getting curious.

You talk a lot about getting curious about why am I having this? And throughout some discussions and reflections as I'm sitting with the urge, have been able to help get through those.

Amber: Do you have any favorite thoughts that you like to remind yourself of when you have an old urge pop up?

Brooke:  

Right, yeah, and I always love that thought like we never actually have to say no to ourself We're just saying later because our next meal is really never more than a couple of hours You Whether that's in the morning, or at lunch, or at dinner, or a snack, like It's coming so soon and you think about like life goes by so fast like we like blanket.

It's like the next

Amber: Right, yeah, and I always love that thought like we never actually have to say no to ourself We're just saying later because our next meal is really never more than a couple of hours You Whether that's in the morning, or at lunch, or at dinner, or a snack, like It's coming so soon and you think about like life goes by so fast like we like blanket.

It's like the next

 day  

A lot of times so it's like we can wait for three hours till our next meal to have this you just start doing something else Then your brain forgets about the urge altogether And then you actually start changing your brain because of that And then you can give yourself permission to have that food because a lot of people try to tell themselves No, just don't have it and just like white knuckle their way through it But that's when you make like the temper tantrum bigger just like you would with a kid if you just tell them Nope, not for you You know that usually leads to a big temper tantrum in the grocery store Or that they didn't get the snack that they wanted but if you're like, oh, maybe later or let's buy some But we're not gonna have it right now.

We're gonna have it tonight. Then it helps our brain Conceptualize that idea a bit more that it's not that we can't have what we want It's just we're just gonna have it later For reasons that we like because we want to have a good night's sleep because we want to feel good Because we want to listen to our hunger and fullness You And so what are some of the breakthroughs that you feel like you've had throughout this program?

Brooke: Out of touch I really was with my body and how our body knows exactly what it needs. And it's just interesting how easy it is. In this diet culture to get out of touch with that, but your body talks to you and it tells you when it's hungry, it tells you when it's full, it tells you when it doesn't like something or it really wants something.

And we just get so out of touch with that. And so to be able to learn how to get back in touch with what my body is trying to tell me has been really cool. And then also is just the power of this visualization. Has been really helpful for me. And so near or far future, just being able to, what do I want my dinner to look like tonight?

Do I want to be full and feel disgusting afterwards? Or do I want to eat nice and slow? Enjoy my conversation with my family or, you know, what the holiday is coming up. What do I want the holidays to look like? Do I want to feel stuffed and not be able to do anything? Or do I want to have a nice Thanksgiving meal and then be able to play games and hang out afterwards?

You know, that power of this. Visualization of now or even in the far future, what do I want my relationship with food to look like in five years has been super powerful for me.

Amber: I'm really glad you mentioned that too because that's not something I think to mention a lot to people But visualization is actually a tool I use very often especially in group coaching because everyone can kind of customize it to themselves and what they want their day to look like And so what visualization is to like back up a little it's where we use our brain to See how we want things to go. Our brain is so, so, so powerful. And this is a tool that is often used by athletes and CEOs. When I learned this tool, my coaching teacher, she told me that people will study visualization alone and they'll charge like 4, 000 a session for it when they're doing it with athletes. And I'm like, I'm not charging you guys 4, 000 a session.

You're getting it. And so what we do with visualization. is we give your brain a really clear blueprint of how we want your new plan to go. And so they've also done research with visualization where one that I'm thinking of is they took someone who was going to play piano every day for like a couple months and then someone who was going to imagine.

Playing the piano every day for a couple of months and they had the same progress In their ability to play piano throughout the couple of months There's also been a lot of research on muscle growth. Where it's not exactly the same, but you can get highly really big results from Just imagining lifting weights as if you were lifting the weights And so it's really amazing like if you just take a quick minute and go research like visualization and the power of it You'll be amazed at how much research there is behind it And so something we'll often do is, for example, in a coaching session, if someone we've kind of done some coaching, we've unraveled some beliefs, and we're like, alright, we know how we want to be, we've let go of some old thoughts, now let's give your brain the exact plan.

We'll literally create the exact plan of, okay, I'm going to use the one we used the other week for you. It's like, we're going to Get ready for the night, we're going to clean up the kitchen, and then we're going to turn off the kitchen lights, the kitchen is closed, and it's time to get ready for bed.

So then we'll walk up to our bedroom, we'll take our shower, we'll do our stretching, we'll do our yoga, we'll read our book, we'll turn off lights, we'll go to bed. You can imagine if you got an urge, how would you handle it? And so, notice how specific it would be, because that's really what's powerful for your brain.

So I give everyone a some guidelines and some customizations around visualization to make it really powerful for whatever we're trying to implement that week.

And so something we work through a lot too is mindful eating and eating slowly, and I know this is something that is like an ongoing goal, but that's like for most of us in this world. Like, We just live in such a high pace go go go And so I always try to remind people that this is more than just an action we're doing but a value shift we have to Make what are some things or reminders that you've used to help you slow down with food and eat more mindfully.

Brooke: Yeah. I would say that's been a lot of people in the group's biggest challenge. Because like you said, our world is so go, go, go. That's something I have struggled with, even before my unhealthy relationship with food. especially during dinner, when I'm eating with my family, my husband and my two kids, we always sit down for dinner.

So being able to focus more on the conversation instead of scarfing down my food, but then also focusing on the food is something I've never really done before of, you know, the taste, the smells, the textures, all of that. And like, do I even like this? What flavors in it? Do I like what flavors in it?

Do I not like has been kind of a fun adventure for me. And then also something else that you talked about was just finding a favorite place to eat so that you can enjoy your surroundings without being distracted. So especially during dinner, when I'm eating with my family, my husband and my two kids, we always sit down for dinner.

So being able to focus more on the conversation instead of scarfing down my food, but then also focusing on the food is something I've never really done before of, you know, the taste, the smells, the textures, all of that. And like, do I even like this? What flavors in it? Do I like what flavors in it?

Do I not like has been kind of a fun adventure for me. And then also something else that you talked about was just finding a favorite place to eat so that you can enjoy your surroundings without being distracted. So a lot of us like to eat in front of the TV or reading a book or things like that.

And so, I've found that I don't like sitting outside because you never know what the weather in Iowa is going to be, but I have a nice big window in my kitchen that I like to sit right next to, and I have a water fountain out there that I like to watch, and the birds and the cats come and drink out of it, and so, watching out my window has been really nice, and that's something that I never took time to appreciate as much.

Amber: Yeah, such a beautiful thing and do you feel like as you've started to change your eating habits It's had an impact on your husband or kids in any way

Brooke: I feel like I've gotten some verbiage to be able to help my kids through this diet culture because I think it's only going to get worse from here. And so to be able to have the things to say to help them be intuitive eaters. We talk about more of the tastes and smells of food. I ask them things that they're smelling and, Oh, does that make a fun crunch when you bite into it and things like that.

And I know that's going to help them in the future. And then we talk about, Oh, do you have a happy tummy? You know, when my three year old asks if he's done. How's your tummy feel? Is it telling you it's happy? Is it telling you it's content? so just verbiage around that and then yeah, my husband just it's opened up more conversations for us to be able to Talk about the world that we live in as far as food goes and some changes that we want to make in our household.

Amber: And what a good example you are for your kids now of someone who takes care of themselves and someone who shows up for their body. And you're exactly right that you now have the language to use around it. Because most parents are just like, Well, I think sugar's bad, and so we should tell them they can only have so much of it, and, hopefully they don't gain weight from it one day, and they don't ruin their teeth, and it's like, well, there's better ways we can talk to kids about that.

And how we do that is by first starting with ourself, and by learning, well, how are we talking to ourself about food? And if we're telling ourself all day long, Oh, that sugar is poison, you can't have any of it, it's like you gotta control yourself around it, it's really dangerous, that's the language that's gonna come through to our kids. And so, of course, we want to teach healthy habits, but we also want to teach moderation, too, because on the alternate side of it, there's a lot of people who come to me where their moms were dieters, and their moms were really strict with their eating habits, and they were very on track and off track, and that's not the healthy way to teach eating habits, either, so we really want to teach them To be intuitive eaters and to listen to their body and to understand that, yes, some food has more nutrition and some is just for pleasure, but if we pay attention to the food experience, our body will guide us away from the foods that aren't so great for us and we actually start to crave the things that are good for us and the things that are nutritious because our body knows what it needs.

So what did you love most about the program and working together?

Brooke: Well, I keep bringing up the tools, but it's just such hands on things that I can apply to every day. That's been so helpful. Like we talked about Noom and it gave me a lot of like the science behind why we do certain things. And that's great. But nothing stuck because it was just information that is now floating around in my brain that I'm not going to be able to grab onto in times of need.

But the things that you give us are not only written out so I can refer back to it anytime, but it's like Tools that I'm going to use every day to be able to continue to put these new habits into action so that they get really cemented into my brain. And so that's been really helpful to have tools for short term and long term. I'll be able to use those forever.

And then also just for the group itself, being able to hear other people's struggles and knowing that I'm not alone has been super helpful. I'm so glad I did the group one just because every time people tell their story or things that they're going through, I can sit there and be like, yes, I've totally been there and hearing your feedback to them.

Sometimes it's things that I had forgotten I struggled with or just haven't really thought about. And then just the aspect of no shame, just curiosity, like diet culture is a lot of shame and it's like, Oh, I had an urge today or a binge instead of shaming yourself and feeling horrible about that as like, okay, why did that happen?

What was my environment? What were my emotions? You've taught us how to kind of assess our situation and that kind of doesn't leave room for shame. If you're busy figuring out how you got there, then you don't have time to sit down and feel shameful about your actions.

Amber: right and that is my favorite part about the group is just having a safe space to come to each week And just really look at like what's going on here and just like take it apart And it's so fun with other members to be able to see like, oh my gosh I didn't even realize I was having those same thoughts and i'm so glad that they asked it because now I can call them out and it can actually help your growth Accelerate and go deeper because you're able to see You new things that you might not have even thought to bring to coaching or you might not have even thought to ask and now you get those answers and that coaching as well too.

And because it is such a small group, we're also able to have a lot of personal time together. So pretty much every week, whoever wants coached, you can get coaching. And so if there's ever anything on your mind, you get that personalized attention to really sort through it as well. And then the other members get the benefits of hearing that conversation.

And going back to one of the points you said earlier I like to think about learning the information is like reading a book of fun facts. Like it's really interesting. And it's like, Oh, that's cool. And that's cool. That's a fun fact. But like how many of us actually remember the fun facts? Like we tell some of it and they're like, we're like, here's this fun fact I learned this week. And then it's gone. Versus like if you were to get a tutor for an area, like a specific area that you want to master. Then you go through a tutoring program and they help you each week and you get to go really deep with the subject. Like that's a subject that you're probably going to master then versus just learning fun facts that are just like information for your brain.

So what would you tell someone who is thinking about joining the program but who's on the fence right now about it?

Brooke: So I promised myself that this would be the last program I ever do. You know, I had a lot of conflicting emotions about doing the program because I had done so many programs before and just hopped from one to the next. I'm like, well, this is just another program, but I promised myself, let's just give this a try.

And this is going to be the last program I ever do relating to food and Amber, you just made it really easy for me to be able to actually say this is going to be my last program because you've just loaded me up with so many tools. Like I said, that will last a lifetime. And I really don't feel like I ever need to go back to anything else because I just have so much confidence in my body now to tell me what it needs.

You've taught me how to listen to my body and there's been no other program out there that has done that for me before. And honestly, this program has saved me so much money because I will never go on a diet again. And like I said, I was just hopping from one to the next and over a period of time that adds up pretty quickly.

So, you've saved me a lot of money going on this program. So I would tell anyone that's on the fence about it, that you're going to save money. You're going to get so many actionable tools and you're not going to go back to dieting after this.

Amber: Thank you, and I'm like tearing up as you're saying that because I didn't know that you had promised yourself this is the last program you'll ever do, but I hope it is just because we don't want to be bouncing around from program to program. I have people who are working with me in their 60s and 70s and I love that they're doing the program But also they've wasted so many years of their life and so much money on things that don't work and so much time too I'm just like upset about that Assessing over food and their bodies that they could have used for something else And so I'm so glad that you took the leap when you did enjoying this program. So I know you mentioned like you possibly having more kids in the future or as your kids get older being Continuing to be an example for them and now that you have these tools that those will be with you forever And you'll be able to pass down those tools for generation and hopefully have so many more beautiful hobbies other than dieting Which is like so many women's only hobby is like I just hate my body all day, and I just think about the next diet, and what I'm gonna eat today, and it's like, No, there's so much more to life than that, so. you for saying all of that and I hope whoever decides to join they will realize too It's the last program they're ever gonna do and can have the amazing success that you've had because it really is possible for everyone. Everyone has the same thought in the beginning of like But what if i'm different?

But what if i'm the one that's broken and i'm like I don't even coach people on that anymore because it's so untrue. We all have human brains that are changeable. And if you decide I say on every single first call. If you decide that you will not give up on yourself in this program and you don't quit, it will work guaranteed because that's the dedication and commitment to being the person and woman you want to be.

And that's also a skill that will leave you with those tools in any area of life too. Every tool that we've learned can apply to larger areas of health, your finances, your family life, and so you really gain tools that go so much beyond food as well.

Brooke: Yeah, I've definitely applied everything that you've given us to so many elements of my life. I can totally attest to that.

Amber: I love that. Well, thank you for coming on today, Brooke. I so appreciate you sharing your story with the listeners and thank your for everything.

Brooke: Thank you, Amber. It's been fun.