Ep 51 - How an Intuitive Eater Eats- Interviewing My Brother Owen

January 30,2025

Today I’ve brought on my brother, Owen, to describe how he eats as a natural, intuitive eater.

If you’ve ever wondered “how do I just eat normally?” this is a must listen!

We go over…

• What’s a typical day of eating like as an intuitive eater?

• Do you graze or snack?

• How do you decide what and when to eat?

• What do you do if you overeat?

• How do you think about your body?

TRANSCRIPT:

 Amber: Hello confident eaters! Today I am interviewing someone really fine and that is my brother Owen. So Owen is my younger brother and he is someone who we would consider as a natural eater, someone who hasn't dieted in the past, who just effortlessly listens to his hunger and fullness. So Owen, you want to say hi?

Owen: Hey guys, I'm Owen.

Amber: So Owen, tell us a little bit about your relationship with food. Have you ever dieted? What has it been like for you growing up?

Owen: So I've never really been on a strict diet. I've never thought about food too consciously in my life. I've, for the past Four or five years now, I've tried to be on a general calorie surplus to gain weight and muscle in the gym.

But other than that, there's nothing, uh, too specific I try to stick to.

Amber: Yeah, awesome. So what does a typical day of eating look like to you?

Owen: So, uh, I usually try to get about three meals a day. Just normal breakfast. I usually eat about the same thing every day because it's easy. Then lunch around noon or one.

And that's usually just whatever I feel like for then. And dinner, I usually eat the same thing again too. And then sometimes right before bed I'll have a, a snack or a protein shake.

Amber: Do you feel like you ever snack or graze throughout the day or is it more meal based?

Owen: It's mostly meal based. Occasionally I'll snack, but most of the times I eat enough during my, my meals where I don't really need the, or feel the need to snack at all.

Amber: And I think that's so important because a lot of the times people who have dieted, you know, there used to be like this myth of eat like six small meals a day for weight loss, but I think that's actually better for like weight gain. But if you're eating enough at your meals, you shouldn't actually need to snack that much throughout the day.

But I see people like eating these. salads with no dressing or like low fat dressing and just chicken and then nothing else and then they wonder why they're Snacking all day long and it's because they haven't actually got a filling meal and I know you eat good solid hearty breakfasts every day You want to tell them your breakfast?

Owen: Yeah, I actually just ate about three minutes before this It was uh, four eggs with cheese on it two pieces of peanut butter toast And apple and some grapes.

Amber: Yeah, and that keeps you full for a couple hours at least, right?

Owen: Yeah, definitely till lunchtime.

Amber: Yeah, so you're not just like, you know, getting a quick bar on the go, although sometimes you might if you're in a rush, right?

So what do you do if you're in a rush and then you don't have time to make your normal breakfast?

Owen: Sometimes I'll just do maybe some fruit with a, uh, granola bar or something, or maybe just make a quick smoothie with some protein powder in, cause that's A quick way for me to get protein and calories in and then just head out the door with that.

Amber: And do you find you get hungrier then throughout the day if you do that?

Owen: Usually. Sometimes not though. I feel like sometimes when I eat a lot in the morning, it kind of builds up my appetite for lunch almost. And so sometimes I feel like when I eat more in the morning, I'm hungrier by lunch than if I was just not eat much at all.

Amber: And maybe that's to do with like the day too. So if you're on like a really busy day and you're just rushing out. The door with just like a granola bar. Maybe you're so busy during your day too that you just don't think about food so much. Could maybe that be it?

Owen: I believe so, yeah.

Amber: And I know a lot of people, once we get into this regular meal routine though, your body kind of starts to expect the food.

So maybe as it's eating like the big breakfast, you get to lunch, and then it's like, oh, like we're in a routine now, we're ready for food. Whereas sometimes what can happen is like, When we don't eat a lot for breakfast, it's almost like our hunger kind of shuts down, and we're just doing stuff through the day, and we're just go, go, go.

But then, chances are, you're probably a lot hungrier at dinner then, if you don't eat very much during the day. Or maybe you, like, need an extra big dinner. Do you find that to be true?

Owen: Yeah, I think I usually need about the same amount of calories every day. It just depends when I get them. I guess, yeah, it kind of just prolongs the hunger if I don't eat it at breakfast, usually.

Amber: Now, how do you decide what to eat when you're deciding like what type of food to include with your meals?

Owen: Well, I usually focus. More so on, uh, things with protein and I try to steer away from just like super high sugar foods and things that won't really last me a long time. I focus on a lot of macronutrients and stuff like that, but usually as long as it fits.

In to my normal calorie and protein that I need, I'll eat it

Amber: and notice how like you're looking at protein is something that will keep you full and fuel you like you want to feel your muscles. You want to stay energized throughout the day. You don't want to crash halfway through Owens in college right now.

So you don't crash halfway through your classes or anything. You want to be fueled and energized. Whereas sometimes a lot of people think of food as like Well, what will help me lose the most weight? And I feel like that's just such a restrictive way of thinking about, of like, how can I cut everything out, versus like, how do I want to feel today, and what will fuel me throughout the day?

What's your approach to eating treats or more indulgent foods?

Owen: I don't get down on myself if I eat them. I try to stay away from them. If I see a soda that has like a hundred grams of, uh, cat or, grams of sugar in it, I'm probably not gonna drink that, because I know I'll, heh, I know I'll crash after, or I'll feel pretty poor after, but If there's just like a dessert at a table that I know is like chocolate or one of my favorite tasting desserts, I'll definitely have a piece of it and then just eat a piece of it and then call it good.

Amber: And do you ever feel guilty after that?

Owen: If I don't stop, if I eat like six pieces of cake, maybe, because afterwards I'll be like, uh, if I could have been doing something productive right now, but instead I'm just aching on the couch. But other than that, no, not usually.

Amber: And if that happens, do you know why that is?

Like why? You overate and then do you move on after? Do you beat yourself up? How do, what do you do after?

Owen: Well, usually if I overeat like a dessert or something, it's probably because I haven't had one in a while. I eat one. I'm like, oh, this is so good. I've been, I've been missing out on this in a while and then there's this unlimited at my disposal.

And then afterwards, I usually won't crave it for a while or I'll kind of keep that in mind how I felt afterwards and then try to avoid that at least. Avoid eating as much in the future.

Amber: Yeah, you just kind of move on with your day and and I'll say like As your sister, I don't see that happening very often.

Like, Owen is not like sitting on the couch every other day being like, Oh man, there's nothing else to do. I'm gonna eat six pieces of chocolate cake. Yeah,

Owen: it's usually maybe on Thanksgiving or at a birthday party or something, but.

Amber: Right, and so it's important to see though that like, It is normal to sometimes overeat.

And sometimes we just decide, ooh, the food tastes really good, I'm gonna have a little extra. But you're not beating yourself up after for days after. You're just kind of like, ooh. That didn't feel good and then you don't really want it the next day It's not that you're trying to cut it out and be good because oh, no, I was so bad yesterday It's just like well, I don't really want that anymore because I got a big fill of it yesterday So i'm feeling satisfied for the next couple days, right?

Owen: Yeah, exactly

Amber: and one thing I wanted to point out this story of on christmas I thought it was so interesting our parents were divorced and we got to our dad's house and you're like Ah, maybe I'll have a little cake. Maybe I won't. You probably, I don't even know if we remember this.

Amber: Maybe, you know, we just eat and move on.

But you were like, Oh, I won't feel good if I have any more dessert. We've had so many desserts the past 24 hours at Christmas between. Christmas Eve dinner, Christmas morning. And so, you weren't telling yourself, like, I don't know when I'm going to get pie again. And Amber brought her special gluten free, dairy free pie that looks really yummy and was probably expensive from Whole Foods.

And you're just like, eh, I'll have some probably another time. Right? Is that what your thought process was?

Owen:Yeah, pretty much. I knew, I knew for the day, usually, um, a certain amount of sugar will not make me feel the way I want to feel. And up to, leading up to that point, I had more than enough. sugar and a lot more than I normally eat in a day.

And so even though all the desserts at Dad's looked super delicious and it was some of my favorites, I knew I just, I couldn't eat it and still be able to function properly.

Amber: Right. And I know for me, like, I was scared of kind of eating naturally because I was like, well, what if I just want to eat all the sweets?

Like, what if I give myself permission and then I just go crazy on them? But what actually happens in reality is you're able to tune into your body so much more because you're not worried about Well, how many calories are in this, and what's gonna happen if I eat this, am I gonna gain weight, it's more just, well, I'm not gonna feel very good, and you have so many different experiences, and maybe times in the past where you did have too much, and you're like, I don't really wanna feel that way, so it's just easy to say no, versus if we're trying to say no from, like, I'm trying to be good today, then it's much harder, but it's easy to stay motivated when you're like, well, I just don't wanna feel my best, and then it makes it so much easier to actually say no to those things.

So, about how often would you say you think about food? What percentage of your day?

Owen:I mean not too often except for around meal times, maybe within 30 minutes to an hour before I'm gonna eat I start thinking about it or maybe just what I want to eat But other than that, it doesn't really cross my mind.

It's kind of just more of a preparation thing for me Like if I know I want to eat this many calories and this much protein for dinner, I might plan it a few hours ahead, but it's not really until I start cooking dinner that I'm thinking about it.

Amber: Right. So planning is still a part of your process because sometimes people say like, I just want to never think about food again.

And I'm like, well, you're still going to think about food. Like you have to plan to eat and like. Make that a priority, but it's not gonna be consuming your entire day. Like, it's not, you have other things you can think about during your day. It's just, oh, I'm starting to get hungry. Let me start prepping food.

Now, do you ever go by, like, the time on the clock says this, so I should start eating? Or is it only based on what your body says?

Owen: No, it's pretty much based on what my body says. Like, when I'm on a consistent schedule, I usually eat around the same times anyways. So, I don't have to pay attention to the clock that much.

I know I'll usually be hungry around The same time in the morning and afternoon and evening and then other than that, there's not much time thought into it

Amber: Yeah, some people think it's like this wired wild roller coaster of like well if I listen to my hungry Like what if i'm hungry at this time and this time it's like it starts to even out over time Especially around your schedule like when you're in a regular routine with work or school.

It's like I have breakfast, then I have a break, and I have my lunch, and then I have a break, and then I have dinner, and so it's like, it evens out pretty well, you don't actually have to think about it that much, it's just breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and then if we're hungry, we have a snack in there.

Owen: Yeah, and even if I don't have a consistent schedule, it usually just follows my sleep cycle, so I eat usually before I go to bed, and when I wake up, and then sometime in between.

Amber: Yeah, and that's a good tip for people on the weekends, when it seems like the routines are just all off, it's like, Still have, like, wake up, you know, have your normal breakfast, like, within your normal waking time. Like, if it's, uh, 30 minutes after waking, a few hours of waking, have your breakfast, you know, then wait another couple hours, and have your lunch, and then your dinner might be pushed back a little, or it might be pushed a little earlier, but just trying to stick to, like, a normal routine still.

Do you have, like, a list of good and bad foods in your mind, or do you ever say, I know you mentioned, like, the soda, sometimes you're conscious of, like, oh, it has too much sugar, or do you ever say this has too many sugar, too much sugar, or too much carbs?

Owen: Yeah, other than soda, not really. Because I know for sure, like, soda's not something I enjoy enough to really devote my health and other things, other factors to it.

But, like, sweets are fine with me. As long as I, I keep them just once or twice a day, and other than that, anything really can enter my body.

Amber: Yeah. All foods allowed. Yeah. Right? And then it's like, if you know, this food isn't really worth it to me. Like, it has a lot of sugar, you know, maybe it's the most beneficial thing for my health.

It's like, I don't really want to eat it that much because then it's just not really worth it when there's maybe something I'd rather have instead. Mm hmm. So how would you say you view food? Do you view it primarily as fuel, pleasure, or something totally different? Right.

Owen: Probably depends on the circumstance, I say, because usually my breakfasts are purely for fuel just to get me up and going for the day and then a lot of times around lunch or dinner I can be doing that with friends and maybe I'll diverge from my normal meal plan and then get something a little unhealthier, go out for fast food with them.

And that's more of a pleasure thing because I just want to hang out with my friends and go get food with them because it's something fun to do.

Yeah.

Owen: But. It really just depends.

Amber: So, I interviewed one of my good friends, Zarin, on the podcast last, and she also kind of said the same thing, like, my friend Zarin, like, she loves going out to eat, she loves going to restaurants, so it is like a very, like, pleasurable, fun experience, but that's not like all.

Like, in her day to day, it's kind of just. I'm just, I'm getting by, it's fueling my body and then when you go out or do something fun it's a way to connect with people and, and actually get out of the house and enjoy the food outside of your normal

Owen: routine. Yeah. So like probably 80 percent of the time it's just for fuel and for energy and stuff but then the other 20 percent of the time it's for pleasure.

Amber: That sounds like a good percentage. And if it's just for pleasure are you still listening to your Hunger and Fullness though?

Yeah.

Amber: Still tuning into, like, your body and not going, like, crazy because it's pleasurable. It's like, well, it's just maybe the food type might be a little different.

Owen: Yeah, yeah, it doesn't necessarily give me the same, same macros and all that good stuff, but it still fills me up and I still know when I'm full.

Amber: So let's talk about body image. How do you feel about your body image and has that ever influenced the way that you eat?

Owen: Well, yeah, I mean, as you know, back in middle school and before puberty, I was. Really skinny, especially for my height and age, and so I did struggle with that, uh, skinniness for a while, and when I first started to, um, Try to, like, increase my food intake to gain a little weight, I think I tried to do it way too fast, and, like, I saw, like, Oh, this specific bodybuilder eats this much protein and this many calories in a day, and I tried to follow his diet, even though he weighed A hundred pounds more than me at the time, and then I'd maybe be able to maintain it for a day or a couple meals, but then after that I would just be way too full and I wouldn't be able to stick with it.

And so like, as my body's kind of developed more, it's been easier to accept it how it is and I don't really pressure myself to eat as much.

Amber: I think that tends to be a common theme of both with men and women, as you start to go through puberty and get older, there starts to enter these social pressures of, Men are supposed to look a certain way and women are supposed to look a certain way, and it impacts men too of Like, you know, you don't want to be too skinny because that's not looked up very mainly got a bulk up But then you realize like oh if I follow some random influencers plan, that's not my body's plan It's that's not gonna work for me.

And so you decide to tune in to well, what can I do? that's gonna feel good for my body and so many people can find like wisdom in that to know How could any other person possibly know what Owen's body needs, or what Amber's body needs? Like, it's not that simple. There's so many different factors involved, and so we have to take an approach to learning what our body needs, and not just, like, outsourcing that to someone else.

Now, do you ever find yourself comparing your body to others? And if so, how do you handle those thoughts?

Owen: Yeah, I mean, I definitely, I feel like everyone, in some shape or form, compares their bodies to, to the people they see around them. And Like when I first got into the gym, it was really hard not to just like compare my body to the biggest guys in the gym and just not think about how I'm the skinniest guy there.

And it's kind of been a process to uh, to eliminate that from my mind. Because, you know, everybody else's body used to not look the way it did before, too. It took them time and progress to get it to where it was today. And so I think just understanding that everyone probably started similar to where you are, um, helps a lot.

Amber: Yeah, such a good point. And same thing for, you know, women in the gym who are comparing themselves to someone with smaller or stronger, too. Like, muscles are not built overnight. Like, no one is like toned and lean just because they were born that way. Like, it requires effort and time and dedication. So I think that's a great perspective.

Now, how do you separate how you feel about your body from your food choices, or are they intermingled at all, or is it like how you view your body and how you see food totally separate things?

Owen: I'd say they're pretty connected for me just because I know a lot of the times what my body looks like is because of what I eat in the diet that I have and that's been pretty important to me.

I think is just thinking about like what this food, how it will alter my body and what it will make it look like in the future. And if I think something's going to make it look a lot worse in the future, I probably won't eat it. But if something's healthier, yeah. And it gives me a lot of protein, then it's usually what I favor.

Amber: Do you think about that every time you eat, or is it only like on occasion that those thoughts come up?

Owen: Pretty consistently that I do think about that, but there's a lot of times that I don't. Like, especially when I'm out, it's more when I'm planning, or like preparing meals at home. Or I'm in like a controlled environment where I can really dictate what I eat and what's going on in my body that I think about it.

But if I'm out at a restaurant, I don't really.

Amber: And it's not strict rules though, right? It's not like, well cake's gonna make me fat so no more cake for the rest of my life.

Owen: No, it's just trying to keep it more so balanced and just not having too much of one thing compared to another.

Amber: Right. That's why I call it guidelines where it's like, It's not strict rules of no cake and only protein and chicken and broccoli.

It's like, oh, let's keep it balanced. Like I want to prioritize, like you said, uh, what more of the things are gonna make me feel good and contribute to my muscle goals and how I want to be. But it's not a strict rule. It's more like this is how I guide my eating. Would you say like you resonate with that word, like a guideline that you kind of have for yourself?

Owen: Just keeping it within certain boundaries as long as I don't steer way too far one way then. then it's generally acceptable.

Amber: Mm hmm, yeah. So do you think having these natural eating habits have helped you maintain a healthier relationship with your body versus someone who might be dieting?

Owen: Yeah, I think so, because when I don't think about what I eat at all, my body usually doesn't like that.

It usually gets upset if I just eat cereal and desserts and, I don't know, candy all day. But when I think about it too much as well, too, then I feel like my body kind of gets lethargic almost. There's maybe some things I didn't think to include. in that diet, and I think just kind of being mindful of that has helped a lot.

Amber: Yeah. Well, awesome. Well, thanks for coming on today, Owen. I think a big takeaway is that You do have intentional eating, like you're not just saying, screw it and just whatever I, the first thought enters my head, I'm going to eat. You put some intention in it, which is like really important to notice because becoming a natural eater and someone who tunes into their body does not mean we have to just throw out all healthy eating into the dumpster.

Like we can tune into our body and how it feels, and that's ultimately what's going to lead to sustainable changes that feel easy long run.