Ep. 14- From Multiple Coaching Programs to Conquering Peanut Butter- Ginger’s Story
May 09,2024
Meet Ginger!
Today you’ll get to hear a client’s experience in the MIDDLE of the Confident Eater program!
Ginger has a unique perspective as someone who’s in both private and group coaching with me.
She’s done big weight loss coaching programs before, but wanted more support. She’s now made leaps beyond what she imagined was possible!
We discuss:
Being patient in your intuitive eating journey
How she finally conquered her binge food peanut butter
Making natural eating FUN & EASY
Her focus for the next few months in the program
Amber:
Hello, confident eaters and welcome. Today we have another guest, a client of mine who is actually in the middle of the confident eater program. And she is going to be offering a unique perspective today as someone who has been doing both group and private coaching with me. And I thought it would be so fun to have someone on in the middle versus at the end so they can talk about their experience, their journey, and where they are going. So, Ginger, do you want to introduce yourself?
Ginger:
Yeah, so I'm Ginger. Yep. And I've been working with Amber both individually and in the group. And yeah, thanks for having me.
Amber:
So start by telling us your history with food and where you were at before you came in with me.
Ginger:
Well, I think like a lot of people, you know, during my kind of midlife years, I started putting on weight and I started dieting because that was really the only option I knew about. And I had a couple of pretty intense restrictive diets that I went through and both times I gained back the weight and more, and then some.
And so a few years ago, I was getting kind of frustrated feeling like, okay, I need to diet again, but I somehow luckily ran into a class that was an intuitive eating class and which had, of course, a very different perspective on weight and health and diets. And it was from that class that I heard about another program that was more of an online kind of group coaching model.
And it was in that experience that I got to know Amber and then when the coach for the group, the group coaching retired, Amber, you made it available to us. If anybody wanted to do individual coaching or do a group with you and that's how I found you. And that was a great, great find.
Amber:
Thank you. For anyone who doesn't know, that is how I got into coaching is I did another coach's program. I was in it for a few years and then I ended up being a mentor and coach for her before I went off and started I started my own coaching business, teaching women all the things I had learned on the way.
And yeah, that is where I ran into Ginger. And so tell me about kind of what your struggles were at the start of the program and what you really wanted to change for yourself.
Ginger:
Yeah, I think, you know, I had been hearing a lot about natural eating, confident eating, you know, listening to our bodies and letting our bodies tell us when it's time to eat, when it's not time to eat. And it all for me sounded so great, like so intuitively on, like that is how we are supposed to function.
And yet in my attempts to do that, I was just finding that I couldn't do it. Like I just overate a lot. And so I started to see as I started to understand, you know, I'm really overeating a lot. I started to see why the I wasn't losing weight, why I kept gaining weight and then I started to feel really frustrated. Like, wait a minute, I should be able to do this, you know? And so, you know, that's when I really kind of knew I need help because I'm not somehow able to implement what I'm learning and I'm just frustrated with myself all the time. I was beating myself up a lot. And I think, you know, it's a fairly common story probably. But I realized I got to get some help with this. Because I'm not able to do it on my own.
Amber:
Totally. So Ginger came in with me and started doing private coaching, but then she also joined the group. So she has a really unique experience being able to do both. And it's been so fun to do that. And if you're listening right now, the group is opening up very soon. It is opening up the last week of May. So if you are interested, make sure you are on my email list there is a link for that. You can get my free urge audio in the show notes below. So make sure you are on that so you can find out about the group, but I always have private coaching available too. So I want you to talk about your experience in both of those kind of the differences you've noticed the benefits of both and really just what you've enjoyed about doing either of them.
Ginger:
Yeah. I mean, both have been really good and I really like actually doing them together. You know, I know that's not practical for everyone, but in terms of the group, you know, like a lot of groups it's a lot of group support and you get this sense that you're not alone. There's this sort of normalizing of the struggle you're going through.
I mean, in our group, we have a Facebook page, so we can talk to each other there and you do coaching on the Facebook page as we need it. So that can be 24/7 and then we meet together online and what I really like about that group is that, you know, people bring up what's going on with them. And nine times out of 10, it has been something very similar that I've been going through. And so then I get to hear you coach them and it's really coaching me,too. You know? I'm just learning from everyone's, experiences that way. As far as the individual coaching, then it's very specific to me and like my week and how the thing that I am working on or the struggle that I had or the slip that I had and I really like that too because it's so tailored to me and my unique, experience too. So I feel like together they've been really great. And I think people would get a lot out of either one, it just depends on what they need and what's going on for them. You know, for some people, the group would be just perfect. And for other people, individual coaching would be the thing that they would need or want. So to me, I love to be able to do them both, honestly.
Amber:
For sure and I find in the group what you're saying It is so nice because everyone does benefit from the coaching sometimes i'll be coaching my one on one clients and i'm like I've coached on the same topic three or four times this week. Like it'd be so nice if everyone was all together listening to this, but there is also a lot of value.
I think having someone just on your team specifically one on one and being able to get your unique questions answered because everyone does have a different history and background with food. Everyone in the group is struggling with some form of overeating, binge eating, you know, Eating too much food in general, but within that there can be some nuances.
So I agree if you want a more personalized approach that is like just for your unique situation one on one might be a little better. It's also nice if you struggle with accountability because if you're in a group program, you do have to get yourself to go to the calls a bit more and make sure you're doing the homework
One on one coaching i'm really on you and you cannot skip the calls. So they both have Cons, but my group is a very small group.
We have I think six people in it right now. So you are not going to be in a group with hundreds of people. And I know that was kind of your experience in the last group coaching program you did is it was really big group program. So it's really nice because you can get so much closer with people in the smaller group and you get a lot more personalized attention.
Ginger:
Yes, I agree.
Amber:
So tell me where you're at a few months in now that you've been working on this, making some changes.
Ginger:
Yeah, I do feel like I'm right in the middle of it. I don't feel like I've arrived at, you know, I'm a natural confident eater completely, but I also am not a beginner anymore. So I can see that I've made progress but I'm still working on a lot of things. We are working on a lot of things.
I recognize the thoughts that lead me to a lot of my behaviors. I'm working on identifying kind of what my body is telling me. I know that's important now. I mean, that was one of my big struggles at the beginning was I can't tell if this is brain hunger or body hunger.
And now I'm pretty sure I got that. Like I can tell this is not my body. This is my brain telling me I'm hungry. And that's huge for me because I, you know, back before I started all of this, I was not conscious of that at all and that's what led me to a lot of overeating because my brain said I was hungry when I really wasn't my body wasn't but I'm still working on that You know, I can't say that. Oh, I'm perfect at that now and that you know When my body isn't hungry, I never eat, you know, I'm not there but I also am a lot better At that than I was before, for sure. So I'm working on that, I'm working on a lot of different things but feeling some success now. And I think it was, when was it that I said to you, I think, you know, Oh my gosh, for the first time, I feel optimistic about this. Like I'm going to get it.
Amber:
Talk about how you have made this process more fun? Because I know for you, you do have a weight loss goal and most people do when they come in with me. But something we've been working on the past few weeks is finding ways to like let go of that and just letting it be fun.
Ginger:
Well, one thing is that in my previous group, I had a couple of accountability partners and with one of them, we've been sort of gamifying this a little bit and that has been fantastic where we've got points that we get for different skills that we're trying to build and what it has done is it has kept it in my consciousness during the day. Like now I have this like thought, Oh wait, I'll lose points if I, you know, or I'll get points if I, and so that's actually really made it fun. Another thing is that you and I talked quite a bit about how to make it easier , how to have thoughts about it being easier, you know, how to change my thoughts that this is so hard. You know, I'm never going to get this. I can't do this. This is so hard. That's kind of old diety, mental chatter, I think. And that's been kind of fun for me too, is I think you said to me sometime, like for next week, come up with ways to think about this that indicates that it's easy, that it's actually easy and fun, you know? So that's been good for me too, is to try to mentally shift that to this is such a hard horrible thing to, yeah, this is kind of fun actually really feels good. And I can even enjoy it actually.
Amber:
I find it's a really common thought that people get into, especially when they come from this dieting weight loss background, that it's like, in order to lose weight, it's going to be miserable. We have to put in a lot of effort. It's going to be really hard. And that's honestly not the case and I find that the harder it is, the more we give up.
And that's when we kind of gain the most weight. Like I know for me, when I started losing my weight from binge eating. I found a way to make it super simple, super small steps that just seemed that they would be easy and doable for me. And that's when I actually started making progress because I wasn't so, how can I lose my 10 pounds in the next month?
It was just kind of like, all right, I'm just going to start by waiting by hunger today. And then I'm going to practice stopping at fullness next week. And I'm going to work on eating in moderation. I'm going to learn how to just have a few bites of things, feel satisfied with them. And slowly that is what helped me make the changes I be making and become a natural eater because I thought, Hey, I can do this.
This isn't that hard.
Ginger:
All of a sudden you're having some successes. It's just that I think when we were in the diet world, you know, a success in quotes was losing a whole bunch of pounds. And so that's the shift is these baby steps actually feel really good. And I know they're leading to something good and they're not going to lead to weight gain again after there's no end like there is to a diet like, okay. Well now I'm done with it I've lost the weight. So now I can just eat whatever or whatever, you know, so it feels different in that way. It's more fun.
Amber:
One thing I wanted you to talk about too, is your story with peanut butter. This is my favorite story from you. And this is trigger food process. Tell me about peanut butter.
Ginger:
Well, yeah, You know in the past I would You know, like I think we all, well, a lot of us have these foods that we have a hard time resisting and we might overeat on them. And peanut butter is one of those. I love peanut butter. And I would find myself with a spoon and an open jar and just spooning it out and eating lots of peanut butter until I really didn't feel well and going through a jar of peanut butter so fast.
And so we had talked about that and so you did the trigger food process with me, which is really a desensitization process, like where I'm going to unlearn that, that sort of indulging on so much peanut butter, and I'm going to start eating peanut butter much more naturally. And I can have it.
That's the thing, you know, I can have peanut butter. So what you said to do was to have a little bit with every meal, but Put it on my plate, so I'm not standing there eating with a spoon out of the jar and put the lid back on the jar, put the jar back in the fridge and have peanut butter at every meal for a while.
And I remember the 1st time I tried it, I think I ate the jar of peanut butter and I don't remember it was 4 or 5, like, standing there kind of servings, you know, and so then I was like, I can't do it.
Amber:
Yeah, we actually paused on the trigger food process. We were like, all right, let's take a break from it and that's sometimes something I'll do if it's like These are some big fear foods for some people, something that you might've been binging on for almost your entire life. So we paused on it and they said, okay, we're going to revisit it.
And then tell me about what happened when we were
Ginger:
Yep. Yeah. So then I did what you said the second time. You know, I did it in that way where I just had a little bit and didn't have any more and I was able to do it and I started to feel like, Oh my gosh, like I've got this like peanut butter doesn't have power over me anymore. I can do that. And recently I was in the store with my husband and he said, you know, do we need peanut butter? Or like we're shopping, you know? And I was like, no, not peanut butter because my old self was afraid that I would binge on it again. But then I went, wait a minute. Yeah, actually we can get peanut butter like I've got this and so it feels good to me to know that I don't have to be like afraid of that food being in my presence because I don't believe I will binge on it again like I used to.
Amber:
And what has that done for you? Knowing that, that you can conquer peanut butter, you can be around it.
Ginger:
Yeah, I mean it gives me a lot of confidence and optimism that I can do that with other foods or other areas. It's just empowering I think. It doesn't have a hold over me. Yeah.
Amber:
You've been working on for a while, right? You've been working on your eating habits you know, really a few years now. And I think a lot of people will look at that and they'll use that. As like evidence that, oh, see, I can't do that. But I think what's amazing about you is you're using that to motivate you and you're using that to say, I am going to figure this out.
It's like, I'm going to do what it takes to make sure I get where I want to go. And that is the quality of a successful person who is going to become a natural eater. So can you speak on, you know, if anyone else is in this position where they feel like I've tried these things, it hasn't worked, I've been spending this time to change, I think I need more time.
What would you say to them?
Ginger:
I mean, it does take time and patience and it doesn't have the sort of promise of immediate Big weight loss like diets do, but because I know that those don't work and that they backfire and that this way is going to be a life change, you know, it's a lifestyle change that's going to be lasting and healthy and I'm going to feel good, you know, it's super motivating for me to keep going and to continue it. And I'm not afraid of you know, like when you're on a diet, there's that, what happens when the diet's over? I'm a little scared about that. I don't have that. To me, this is the healthy way to do it. I just feel so good about that.
This feels like what, how bodies are supposed to work. You know, we're supposed to feed them nourishing foods. Like you say, that foods that love us back and we're not supposed to overdo it because that's harmful to our bodies. And who of us wants to harm our bodies? You know, we don't but we get in this conflict. And so this is a way to learn how to deal with that conflict of I think, you know, part of my brain wants it and part of my brain doesn't that makes sense to me anyway. So I feel really good about it.
And I think I remember saying to you a couple of times, I'm such a broken record. I'm such a broken record. I overate again, I'm overeating again. I'm having a hard time getting with the program and you were just, you've always been super confident that I could do it and optimistic that I could do it and at some point have started to believe that. And so that thing you hear people say of, well, if I can do it, anyone can, I really, truly in my heart, didn't believe I could do it.
And I still have my doubts, by the way, that's why I say I'm in the middle of it because I'm not there yet where I'm like, you know what, I got this completely, but I definitely am on the way to that. And again, I feel like if I, with my sort of pessimism about whether I could do it, if I could break out of that, I know other people can too. And that's what I like about working with you. You're super optimistic about that. And I was able to kind of just borrow some of your optimism along the way, I think. And that's been great.
Amber:
Yes, our brains are changeable, and that is what people need to know. And we are constantly changing every single second of every single day, like we are literally made of change. And whenever we get coaching on something, we have an aha moment, we say, Oh yeah, that makes so much sense. That is literally your brain shifting in that moment. And so the more of those we can have, the more coaching we get, even if we feel like, you know, sometimes we're bringing up the same topic, each of those times we're getting a little shift that is pushing you forward in the right direction. And as long as you keep that belief there that it's possible, then you're going to show up as if it's possible.
Because when we believe, you know, I'm just broken. It's not going to work for me. Our brain is going to try to show us how that is true. And we don't want it to do that. We want it to be showing us how it's true for the opposite of how this is possible for us. And, you know, with diets, they promise quick results.
So we're used to that. We see magazines saying lose 10 pounds in 10 days. And so that's usually the results we expect, but we also want to think about how long it took to build these eating habits. So like, how long have you been struggling with food?
Ginger:
Yeah. I mean, probably, you know, 15, 20 years, I would say long, you know, that's a long time.
Amber:
Right. Right. You think about if it took 15 to 20 years to build these habits, you know, we're not going to take 15 to 20 years to break them hopefully, but you know, we got to give ourselves the patience to work on it for more than just like an hour a week for like two weeks, right? Like it's like, okay, we're gonna spend two hours. We're going to talk about it and then we're going to change. It's like, no, we are going to have to make some changes and we are going to have to put a little time and energy and effort to that. And that's okay. That's like anything else. I think about it like a one night stand with someone is like super fun and exciting, but then you're left nothing after versus like when you're in a marriage, it does take some effort and some commitment but once you're in it and you put in that effort and energy, you have a good relationship for the rest of your life. And sometimes you'll have to check in and touch base with yourself and, you know, maybe go to some therapy for marriage. You might need to, Touch base with a coach every now and then, but that is what is going to bring you the long term happiness and joy and truly the results you want. All right, so we'll start to wrap up. So tell me, you know, like you said, you have a unique perspective being kind of in the middle of the journey. What are your goals coming up next few months together?
Ginger:
Well, I mean, I'm working on, you know, like I said before, just continuing to listen to my body to understand what it's telling me. So I just have to keep working on that. Like I said, I'm not there, but I'm getting there eating an alignment with what my body needs. That's probably my big one. And you know, I have skills that I'm working on that are related, you know, more things like deciding ahead of time how much I'm going to eat rather than just eating until I feel like I'm done because that hasn't worked in the past. But deciding what makes sense ahead of time, what foods are going to love me back being consistent. Because where I'm at now is like I have these really good days of natural confident eating and then just, it seems like the next day it goes away still. I'm still pretty rocky and inconsistent about that. So consistency is a big one. Just really having integrity about all of this, you know, I think that's my, one of my biggest things is respecting my body that feels like integrity to me.
Consistency will help with that. Some of these basic skills will help with that. So overall, you know, becoming a confident eater, you know, that's why I'm working with you. So continuing on that journey.
Amber:
Babies do not walk consistently when they start walking. Right? They get up, they fall down, then they try to run, and then they fall flat on their face. And that's how I like to think about our journey, too. We're gonna get to the point where we're gonna be able to run and sprint, and it's going to be easy.
But there's also still times where even, like, professional marathon runners trip when they're just walking. Right? And that's, like, part of life. We're never gonna get to the place where we're perfect eaters. But we can get to the place where we are confident, natural eaters, and that's where we are going to be going.
So I am so excited for you, ginger, to see what's to come. I know you are going to be such an inspiration to so many people listening to this. So many people who are also kind of in the middle figuring out what to do next. But is there anything else you want to leave the listeners with or anything you tell them if they're on the fence about getting help?
Ginger:
I would say do it. I was very hesitant at first for a lot of different reasons and I do not regret it now at all. I mean, and for me, it's been incredibly helpful. I look back at where I was when I started with you and I have made leaps since then. So I am grateful for that. I'm so glad I did it. And I would say just do it. You'll probably be glad you did it. It's very helpful.
Amber:
Awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming on today. Keep learning and growing and I will talk to you soon.
Ginger: Thank you.