Ep. 15- Letting Go of Good/Bad Foods- April’s Story
May 16,2024
Meet April!
A high school English teacher who’s just about to finish the Confident Eater Group!
After dealing with a food and weight struggle since childhood, April knew it was time for a change.
She had started losing weight through dieting, but found herself stuck and ready to finally heal her relationship with food.
With her new tools as a confident eater, she’s now ready to tackle her yearly cruise and enjoy her vacation feeling amazing without food stress!
Listen along to hear:
letting go of good/bad food labels
abundance vs scarcity mindset
the positive impact the program’s had with her husband
why she now plates all her food
Amber:
Hello confident eaters today we are back with another guest and we have a special guest today April who is coming out of the confident eater group and if you are listening to this in real time The group is reopening for a limited time, but we close very soon on may 24th at 3 p. m Mountain time. So if you are interested in the group be sure to check out the show notes where there'll be a link to all the details and the last episode was also about the group You If you are listening to this when the group is closed, I do also always have private coaching open too.
And it is the same program with the same awesome proven content to help you stop binge eating and overeating just in a different format of support.
All right. So April, do you want to say hi and introduce yourself?
April:
Sure. My name is April and I am 46 years old and I'm a high school English teacher. And I have, I don't want to use the word suffered, but I have suffered with food and weight pretty much my entire life. And so I've been all through all the ups and downs and finally decided I needed to do something to get me back on track and back in the right frame of mind and that's when I found you.
Amber:
And something that I thought was really cool about April is when she went through the group program, she knew she wasn't going to be able to attend a lot of the live calls being a teacher, but she still made so much awesome progress and changes. So do you want to talk a little bit about kind of your experience in the group program and some changes that you made?
April:
Yes. I was a little nervous and hesitant when I first joined, just because I knew based on my schedule, I wouldn't be if the timing wouldn't work out for me to see all the live videos and be a part of the live group session. But I got so much out of going back and rewatching the links and the videos and just hearing the coaching that you would do to other people, because we truly were all in the same boat together. Even though we're all individual people, we all have our own struggles. Hearing you be able to coach somebody else and I could pick up on like, Oh, I do that too, or, Oh, I, you know, I'm very similar, but maybe I'm a little different but hearing how you would coach them through really did feel like you were coaching me personally as well.
Amber:
that's what I love about group coaching is we often think that we are the only ones with these thoughts and feelings around food and that we're probably just the weirdo. But really, when you get in this group of people all together, you start to realize, oh, we're not alone in this and it truly is something that can be healed in a community.
So, tell me some of the changes, you know, you were struggling with food, then you came into the program, where were you at the beginning of the program, and what started to shift for you, and when?
April:
Yeah. So a little backstory, I have struggled with weight pretty much my entire life since childhood. And I don't really have a reasoning for that. Like I can't go back in time and think, you know, there was one trigger moment in my life that caused my weight gain. It's just that my family liked to eat and really no foods were ever off limits to me, even as a kid.
My mom was, big into, you know, we were anything was a reward. Food was a reward. And I could come home after school and have a little Debbie snack. She would always have desserts, some kind of dessert with our meal and I just learned to like food.
She was also very make sure you clean your plate club so I couldn't get up out of the chair until I clean my entire plate, no matter how much she had given me. And so I just learned, I feel like from a very early on that food was a priority and that, all food really was considered good.
And so I just grew up with that and as I got older, I kept gaining weight and gaining weight and gaining weight. And obviously through my adulthood, I had some ups and downs and different relationships. And I would find my weight actually going up and down, depending on maybe a relationship that I was in or a relationship that I, you know, wasn't in.
And so I knew when I saw the scale at 219 pounds. And I'm only five, two that I had to do something that was really like my rock bottom. And so a few years ago I just took it upon myself to start losing some weight, started, I found a love of exercise and fell in love with working out and kind of tried the, you know, eat less move more mentality. And that works for only a certain amount of time. And then you realize that you have to keep going and keep going to make it work. But I was able to lose some weight and in doing so, I changed my relationship with food. But I also then had the stigma of I had to be on a diet in order to lose weight and then food became good food and bad food and I could never allow myself to eat, you know, quote, the bad food, because if I started eating the bad food, but I would just want the bad food all the time.
And so in your program, what I truly, like, probably one of the biggest changes that I've made is ignoring those labels, and truly coming to grips with there really aren't bad foods and good foods, but foods that I want to eat, because it makes me feel good, and it make, or it makes me feel bad, so I want to avoid certain foods. And so that's really one of the biggest changes I've made is being able to really step back and view food without the labels.
Amber:
And I remember on our consultation call, I think it was like the Little Debbies or something like that.
That were like, I always have them in the house and I just struggle with them so much. Tell me about how you started to let go of the bad labels around that.
April:
So, yes. Well, and I can totally blame the little Debbie's on my husband because my husband has a sweet tooth and he always has sugary snacks in the house. And I don't want to tell him, please don't bring that in the house. Like I can't be around that. But I was really getting to that point where I felt like I couldn't be around it because once I gave into the urge of eating one, then I would just want them all.
But with your help one of the biggest eye opening moments truly was using those like dessert type foods those snack type foods with the trigger process and you telling me that I was allowed to have it, right? Like I'm a grown adult woman. I'm allowed to eat whatever I want. And so instead of putting that bad label on these foods, I actually incorporated those foods into my daily eating.
And so you kind of giving me this idea of, you know, along with my dinner I could also have a little Debbie snack. Along with my dinner I could have a couple of chocolate chip cookies. Along with my dinner, I could have a little bowl of ice cream. And so by planning those and doing that truly, like literally every single day, I started to realize that like, okay, just because I have two chocolate chip cookies, doesn't mean I have to then sit down and eat the entire sleeve of chocolate chip cookies.
Like I know those chocolate chip cookies are going to be there the next meal and the next day and the next day. And it took the anxiety or the weight of eating those totally off my shoulders.
Amber:
What you're describing there is what I talk about when we discussed an abundance mindset versus the scarcity mindset. And a lot of times when we've done past diets before, like you have, they artificially put us in this mindset of food is disappearing from the face of the And we better get it all in and there's not going to be enough in foodism, limited quantities and limited amounts. So we better get it all in and really hoard it almost like get as much as we can in one period of time. But when we realize, and this is something we do a lot is go into the abundance mindset when you start to realize, Oh my gosh, like. I am a grown adult. I could go and buy chocolate cookies every single day from the grocery store, if I really wanted to. That gives you back your choice and your empowerment to make decisions. And a lot of people will feel this fear and hesitation around it because they'll think, well, won't that just make me gain weight? Or won't I be more unhealthy because of that? Did you have that fear? And if you did, how did you overcome it?
April:
So yes and no. Yes, I did have that fear just because I do like to look and feel a certain way. And I know I have gained a little bit of weight back since my diet years essentially. But I also knew that what I was doing before your group where I was binging or overeating because I thought the diet always going to start on Monday.
So here it is on Saturday and Sunday, I'm going to eat, eat, eat, eat, eat. You know, the diet starts on Monday. I was able to get rid of that mentality. And so by putting, you know taking away that idea that I have to eat everything now and gain 10 pounds over a weekend because I've just eaten nothing but sugar, knowing that I can have a cookie, knowing that I can have a little bowl of ice cream, knowing that I can have, you know a little cupcake, I know those two cookies aren't going to make me gain five pounds, right? And so that helped me mentally sort of visualize, it helped me visualize what I wanted for my future that I could be the person who ate a couple cookies and didn't then have to give into eating all the cookies.
Amber:
Exactly, and that moderation is what truly makes the biggest difference, because it's rarely the cookies or the chocolate or the chips that are the things that are bad for us and causing us to gain weight. It's the fact that we're overeating on those things that's the problem. So if we learn how to eat them in amounts that feel good for our body, You might not have that same fear around eating them because you know you're able to just have a little bit and move on and it's no big deal.
Now, I'm curious, April, you mentioned your husband and I know you guys eat dinner a lot and I'm just curious if it had an impact on either him or your relationship with him and how you guys ate.
April:
The biggest impact on him is that one of the things you talked about was, you know, sitting down to eat. And what actually, one of my biggest changes that I have made that kind of affects him as well is, you know, now when I eat, I make sure that literally everything I eat is on a plate. So there's no more mindlessly reaching into the pantry or reaching into the fridge just to grab something like truly, if I'm going to eat it, I'm going to sit down and eat it on a plate. And so he actually kind of has gone to that same idea where he might go grab a snack, but he's going to come and sit down and eat the snack as opposed to just like standing in the kitchen, you know, mindlessly eating until he finds something else to eat.
And then for our meals, we have gone to instead of, you know, just always sitting in front of the television watching whatever we're going to watch. I won't say we've done it a hundred percent of the time, but majority of the time, more time than not, we actually sit down together at the table, the TV is turned off, there's no distractions. We've kind of have made a rule, you know, no cell phones at dinnertime. And so it truly then has become about talking about our day, enjoying the food that's in front of us and not eating just to rush, rush, rush, to, you know, get to the next thing. Yes.
Amber:
about when people are connecting with their partners more over this because they're actually being able to be present during that eating experience and like have conversations that they might not normally have where they zoned out in front of the TV. And I remember once you posted in the Facebook group about how you had, we're starting to plate your foods and be more mindful of them and you had been putting your.
food on a paper plate. And I think your husband said, Oh, we're getting fancy now. And you're like, it's a paper plate. But you guys just weren't super used to doing that or in the habit of it.
April:
And so some of the things that I, This is kind of changing the subject, but goes with it. You know, instead of now throughout this process, instead of going to grab a couple of cookies, I might go grab an orange, or some grapes, or some berries, and yogurt, or whatever it is, um some almonds.
But whatever it is, yeah, I will, till this day still, I put it on a paper plate, because before I was just grabbing a couple cookies and munching on them. Or I would, if I had like an apple, I would cut my apple up and put it on a paper towel just so I wouldn't have to dirty, you know, a dish.
But now it really kind of has become my snack plate, if you will, my meal plate is something more significant than just like in my hand or on a paper
Amber:
Yeah. And the reason I teach people to do this is because it really signifies to your brain, hey, we're eating food right now. Like, it's not just, we don't even see the food sometimes when we're going from like the bag to our mouth. It just like goes in there, like through a tunnel. And so when we have it out on a plate, it's like, okay, we can visually see, hey, we're eating food right now.
And this is how much we're putting in our body. And it just gives us more of that cue to slow down, to pay attention and to recognize what we're doing in that moment.
Any other breakthroughs or things you wanna share about changes you've made?
April:
Well, one of my other biggest breakthroughs I'm going to say actually hasn't happened yet, but my mindset is already in this one moment. So my husband and I, you know, we love to cruise and we got married on a cruise ship. So let's just be kind of that has become our thing that we do every summer.
And in years past I had the mentality of, well, I paid for this cruise. I'm going to get my money's worth out of all the food. You know, all the food is wonderful. And I'm already thinking to this summer when we go on our Alaskan cruise in July. That I'm not on the cruise to eat, like that is not my main purpose or my main goal.
And so, I know I'm going to go in and enjoy myself, but I also know that I don't have to, number one, I don't have to pick like diet food on the cruise ship. I don't have to, you know, just have like baked chicken and steamed veggies that I truly can't enjoy but just eat until I'm satisfied.
Like, I don't have to stuff myself with a buffet thinking this is going to be my last cruise meal ever because I know that I'm going to enjoy good food at other times as well.
Amber:
And when you're traveling, ultimately it's still the same. You just eating in a different place. So all the skills and tools that you've now built, what's so nice is because we're working internally with our mindset is now that's all gonna be taken with you on the cruise as the new April, who's gonna show up as this natural eater and can really decide how you wanna be feeling, how you wanna be eating in a way that's super aligned, feels good. So you can leave the cruise feeling amazing.
April:
Yes, that is my number one goal really this year, you know I don't want to get off the cruise and feel like I have to then go back to a diet for the next month to lose all the weight that I probably gained. And I just know that this time around, like, I just know, I know this time around that I will embody more of that confident eater, the natural eater, that just eats my meals.
And something I remind people who are travelers, which I am a big traveler. So I think I attract a lot of clients who also are big travelers is if you are traveling often, it's really not as special as your mind makes it out to be. So, you know, you are a cruiser, you love the cruises. And so when your brain goes, Oh, this is the cruise special. It's like, well, yes, it's a special experience. It's going to be enjoyable, but that doesn't mean we're never going to get this cruise food again, or we have to eat it all because who knows the next time we're having it. It's like, you know, this is something that's going to happen for you again. So you can see how, okay, when my brain tells me this is the last time I'm going to get it, we can show ourselves the truth, which is No, not really. We are a big cruiser. We're a big traveler. We're gonna get this experience again. Absolutely
And the cruise line that we go on, you know, I kind of know what their meals are like already, just because we've gone on so many. And so I know that there are, you know, yes, there are the fancier nights, the more special meals, but I also know that I'm going to have that again. And I don't have to, the urge isn't there to just eat and eat and eat.
I'm going to be there to enjoy myself and enjoy the time with my husband and enjoy the scenery. We're going to Alaska.
Amber:
What did you love about the group and working together the most?
April:
I will say first and foremost, I love that being a teacher. I love that. I felt like you were a teacher, you brought forth all the, you know, each weekly lesson that you taught us about, keeping ourselves accountable to our thoughts, keeping ourselves accountable to our actions and I love that each week you left us with something to do or to think about for the week. You know, you gave us homework and as a teacher, I can appreciate that. It wasn't just a one and done idea, but you know, something like our food diary that led us to talking in the group about the importance of meals and mealtime and how that led to perhaps the trigger food exercise And it's like you kind of built everything knowing what the next step was and so you built that into our daily lives, I guess you will.
What I also loved about the group is that you kept the videos and we were able to go back, you know, especially somebody who wasn't there for the lives. I could go back and watch them multiple times if I needed to.
And you gave us multiple tools within those videos that I could go back
at any time.
Amber:
I always record the group calls so and all of the tools you can access at any point in time. It's all there for you. So it is really nice to have those things just whenever you need it, whenever you need to touch base on like an old topic and see those things. And truly the way I designed my program is based off of how I changed my eating habits and how I kind of learned it a little bit more randomly in my journey.
Obviously, it wasn't a clear step by step for me. I learned lots from many different sources and kind of all compiled them, but I truly tried to make the program all the essential information that I needed to know in my journey because I knew other people would need to know it then. And I tried to keep it balanced too between giving you guys information but not giving you too much homework or giving you too much things to do. Like in some programs, there's a course that goes along with it and lots of different worksheets. And while that can be helpful, sometimes I find it overwhelming. So I try to keep it simple. It's simple but also effective where you're getting all the information you need to know, but it feels just enough for you to do each week.
April:
Yes, and the Facebook group I think helped with that as well. Because if one of us asked a question about something, maybe from the video or from the lesson, or we just wanted to reach out to other people, like, The Facebook group was there to help each other. So, you know, we could model for each other. We could answer each other's questions. You know, somebody always had usually had a response to no matter what kind of situation we found ourselves in.
Amber:
Yes, and that is the beauty of the group is that you have that community support aspect as well.
So, what would you tell someone who's on the fence about joining the group right now?
April:
I would say if you're on the fence at all or if you're thinking about it at all, I mean, I would say do it. I was hesitant at first only because of just like the money aspect, but I also knew that I couldn't afford not to join up. Just because, I mean, what I have learned from this group has been so invaluable, you know, learning how to again, not just like, it's one thing to know that I can, you know, dislabel foods good or bad, but it's the other thing to actually do it in real life and eat, you know, learn to eat in moderation to trust, begin to build up trusting in my hunger signals and fullness signals, you know, get excited to go travel, get excited to go on this cruise knowing that I don't have to overeat and overeat and so I, yeah, I feel like if you're on the fence, just do it, your life six months from now, we'll thank you for it.
Amber:
Thank you for that. And, you know, I really love what you said of thinking about the what's the cost of not doing it? Because anytime I make an investment in myself to this day, whether it's coaching, whether it's a new learning thing that i'm trying to figure out I always get scared because we're investing in ourself and we're having to trust ourself which sometimes can be new especially Especially if you've spent a lifetime not trusting yourself, but you also need to think about the cost of staying stuck, which most people don't consider.
They just look at the cost of doing something and not the cost of staying where they are. And I think a lot more of more people. And a lot more areas of life, whether it's, you know, buying a house, going to college, investing in a coaching program, need to consider, there's always a cost of staying where you are. And by not choosing something differently, you're choosing to stay the same. And that's something that you want to think about in your longterm goals and where you're going. So I love that you have that perspective and also thinking about, you know the tools that I teach in my program are tools that you can really use for life. I'm not giving anyone a meal plan and saying, do this for six months, and then hopefully you'll be fine after that. All of the tools I teach you can really take with you and continue to implement after the program is over. And especially something like the thought model that teaches you how to deal with your thoughts and emotions, not only applies to food, But can help you in any other area of life too.
So you become such a more well rounded, happier, balanced person in the end as well.
April:
100%. Yes. And I think isn't, you know, isn't the quote, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. And so, you know, I've spent the last few years working on myself externally. And really what I wanted to do and needed to do is work on myself internally, and I am forever grateful for you for helping me through that process .
Amber:
Thank you. So we'll wrap up. Do you have anything that you want to leave the listeners with?
April:
Just that, yeah, if you are interested at all in learning all of these things, sort of, you know, taking back your confidence, if you will, taking back your putting yourself in control instead of letting the food control you, then I say, this is the right place for you to do that.
Amber:
Thank you. And it was so good having you in the group. You were such a joy. It was so fun to witness your progress and growth. And I know you're going to continue to do amazing things on all of your cruises in moving forward in your life. So thanks so much for coming on today, April.
April:
Thank you so much.