Ep 43 - I Cut Out Gluten and Dairy Over the Holidays. Here’s What I Learned

December 05,2024

Have you ever thought about cutting out gluten, dairy, or another food group to stop binge eating? Or maybe you need to cut something out for medical reasons. I’m diving into my experience working with a functional nutritionist for acne and how it impacted my relationship with food.

I cover…

• my holistic acne healing journey

• when you should and shouldn’t cut out food groups

• my top tips and lessons when eliminating a food group

• how to not feel restricted or deprived

Hello Confident Eater's, happy a Thursday. I am so excited for today's episode. We are going to be talking about, when, if you should cut out a food group, why I did it, how I survived the holidays being gluten and dairy free and why the mindset work is such an important piece if you do need to do some sort of food elimination diet for health for really aligned reasons.

But before we dive in today, want you to know that I have an upcoming free workshop on creating your binge free brain in 2025. This is going to be a workshop all about your urges. So you're going to discover why your urges are the number one root cause of why your binge eating, how to stop relying on willpower and a three step simple process to decondition your binge urges and break the cycle for good.

So our workshop is taking place on December 16th at 12:00 PM. Mountain standard time. The link to register for free will be in the show notes.

Okay. So I'm first going to start with just my personal story of why I even cut out gluten and dairy in the first place. Now I did this last year and I'll give you an update on where I am today, but I did this for about two months last year and it was during the holiday season and I did it for health reasons. I have been on a little holistic acne healing journey.

You really all this past year and a half or so. And I have struggled with acne all of my life. It has been on and off. And I have been on a medication for it called spironolactone, which helps regulate my hormones and therefore helps with my acne. But I have been on a journey to get off this medication for a while. And I started working with a functional nutritionist. To help see, do I have any food sensitivities?

How is my gut health doing? We did all sorts of testing for it, and she recommended that I try cutting out gluten dairy to see if it had an impact on my skin. Now I am not saying that I recommend doing gluten and dairy free or at, in any sort of way, but I do know that my clients and people I have consultations with are always telling me, you know, if I do want to focus on my health, how can I do that while I'm also trying to stop binge eating?

So we're gonna teach you how to do that today. And I'm going to give you some recommendations, some things that I've learned. Especially having support during that process is so important. But my disclaimer here is that cutting out gluten dairy, or any food at all will not magically fix your binge eating or lead to sustainable weight loss.

It is not the only answer. And I now have clients who will work with me first, and then we work one-on-one with learning how to implement more health changes after we rewire their brains to stop overeating.

So again, I did the no dairy or gluten really specifically for my skin. It was not for weight loss.

It was not because I thought it was going to be the answer to all my health issues. I was really specifically wanting to do this, to see what effect did have on my skin.

And as I went through the process of doing the six to eight weeks of elimination. I had a lot of mindset stuff come up. It was actually really interesting to me to see how easily my brain went back into some old thoughts of all or nothing, thinking of feelings of restriction deprivation. And I think that just goes to show that doesn't mean you're not recovered around food or you haven't made progress, healing relationship with food, but our brains are just so sensitive to changes around food because they're built for survival.

Right? So it's very easy for our brain to interpret. Hey, if I'm cutting out dairy, maybe dairies disappearing from the face of the planet and I should eat all of it right now. And so I had to do a lot of self-coaching here.

For example, I had some black and white thinking come up.

I once accidentally ate a piece of chocolate with milk in it during this time. And I had this thought of, oh my gosh, I ruined it. I would have to start this process all over. And it was really panicking. I felt really guilty. And while I didn't go into a full binge, I was feeling a lot of despair and frustration around this process and me trying to figure out my health journey, which made the experience so much harder to feel good in. I also felt like I couldn't have the foods I normally wanted to have.

I felt restricted as everyone else was eating the Christmas cookies. I started to feel a little jealous towards them that I had to do this and they didn't. Now, I'll talk about how I got over those thoughts in a minute, but I want to go over some key takeaways and learnings that I really had from doing all of this and you might want to have to.

Now the number one thing I want you to know is that cutting out any food group is not a quick fix for any health issue. Almost always. If you may be, have celiac disease and you're just discovering it at this point in life that might fix a lot for you, or if you truly have a dairy allergy that might really help clear some things out. But cutting out foods is not the solution to stopping binge eating.

If you go into this with the mindset of maybe if I just cut out sugar or dairy or gluten or whatever category it is, that will be the answer.

And I'll finally stop having these food urges. I'll finally start losing weight. That's not going to be the solution because in our modern world, we are surrounded by these foods all the time. And so it takes a lot of effort to change your mindset to the place where you don't feel restricted, not having these foods.

I recommend for most of my clients, if you can include all foods, have them all included. We only want to cut out certain food groups. If we think it's medically necessary, or we are really going through some health issues that we want to try to the figure out.

So when I first went gluten and dairy free, when I was cutting out gluten, I was starting to eat a lot less carbs than you might think. Wow, that'd be great if I could just eat less carbs, but what actually started to happen. Was I had this feeling of, I was like full, but almost empty at the same time. And it was really bloated. So it was harder for me to actually tell my true hunger and fullness. I also started craving sweets a lot more. Because when I first did this, I did not have very good replacements for all the glutinous foods I was eating.

And so I was just overly hungry. I was actually eating too little and that led to my body trying to seek out carbs. So I was craving dessert some more, not to less, more just because we change our diet doesn't mean our cravings are going to change because we don't do the mindset work around it.

So a little reality check is that if we are restricting foods without addressing the root causes, first of your overeating, this will often backfire and lead to more overeating. I know for sure. If I did not have the mindset tools that I teach in my confidence eater program. That I would go through that process and I would bend a hundred times more.

The functional nutritionist that I worked with, she was amazing. She was a great person. She was really knowledgeable, but I also know that if I had done that program with her and worked with her five years ago when I was at the peak of struggling with my binge eating it, would've sent me into a major binge spiral. And I know this because I actually went sugar-free for a full 30 days. I wiped off with my way through it. I did it back in like 2019. Again, the height of my binge eating. And it did help me stop eating sugar. I stopped eating sugar for a bit and it took me a while to reintroduce it.

But I still gained weight because here's the truth. You can still binge on unhealthy foods. You can still binge on apples. You can still binge on chicken, rice, and broccoli. You can still binge on any food because you haven't changed your urge is around food. Your urges are ultimately the main problem. And so doing all of the actions is going to do nothing unless you change your thoughts to.

So you really must rewire your brain and heal your relationship with food before making any of these major dietary changes.

I have had plenty of people come through my program who want to make major changes to the health. And oftentimes overeating can do that. Like let's even think about that over eating is one of the most stressful things you can do to your body because your digestive system is having to work 10 times as hard.

And for 10 times, as long to process all that extra food, you. I just gave it, even if you just gave it extra broccoli that is taxing to your system. So when you stop overeating alone, that can help your digestive system. I had one client who was struggling with GERD and after she worked with me for just six weeks, her GERD symptoms were eliminated almost completely without barely even changing the quality of food she was eating.

And she was already eating very healthy, but just by stopping over eating and learning about mindful eating, that helped her health so much more than any dietary change. However, had.

So I always recommend if someone is wanting to do some sort of functional nutrition program, some sort of other health program. Please work with me first. And I am not just saying that that is because you genuinely will struggle through those programs. If you are not addressing the mindset, many of these other programs are just teaching you the actions. Without the underlying thought worth.

That is so important and changing our actions. And that's what I focus on in my program is the mindset, the psychology, the neuroscience behind why you're binge eating in the first place and how you can change.

Now the other big lesson that I learned here is that the holidays don't have to be all about the food. If you're listening to this in real time, we're at peak holiday season. We just got through Thanksgiving here in the US. We're entering Christmas Hanukkah. The new year. There's a lot of food happening at this time of year.

And I am here to tell the tale that I was able to get through the holidays without all of that extra food. How I did that was a really focused on the things that I loved, that weren't food related about the holidays. So, this is a good question for anyone to focus on. Do you love the gifts giving part of the holidays?

Do you love finding something that's super meaningful and valuable to the person you're giving the gift to? Do you love watching Christmas movies on the couch? Do you love having festive moments with your holiday sheets? Every year I put on holiday sheets to this day, it was a tradition we had growing up. And I always love putting on my fuzzy sheets. I also love wearing my fuzzy Christmas pajamas, having really soft blankets.

These are all things that I love about the holidays that have nothing to do with food. And this is something that's so important to do. When you were stopping binge-eating because a lot of times I've binge eaters our entire day is focused around the food. What are we going to eat? What's coming next.

What's coming tomorrow. How much are we going to eat? What's going to be in the food, all of this food drama. And so we need to figure out. What do we love about life that has nothing to do with food? Where else can we get pleasure this holiday season, besides just obsessing over the Christmas cookies?

What else is super fun about this time of year? And this perspective shift helped me make the season just as enjoyable and whether it's the holidays or not, even if it's the middle of the summer, if you're deciding to make a change around food. You're going to need to decide to find pleasures outside of food, because ultimately, you know, I don't like to think about we're taking away food pleasure for not eating like the normal glutinous dairy filled cookies. But we are making an adjustment and that adjustment is going to require us to change our mindset, to thinking we're not taking away anything because we're giving ourself back the feeling good in our body. And that's also what I want you to focus on.

And what I learned through this process is that. You are not missing out on anything. If you need to make a change for your health, you are not missing out on pleasure. You are not missing out on joy. Because you are gaining, feeling good in your body. You're gaining your health back. I was gaining my clear skin back.

And I got through the entire holiday season without multiple rounds of cookies and cakes and pies and all the other things. And I did not die from a lack of pleasure. Okay. I survived. I was okay. And in fact, I still enjoyed my holiday season. It was still a great year. I thrive throughout the Christmas season and I didn't feel deprived in the same can be true for you too.

Now the final thing that I found really helpful that I learned. Was that having planned out meals and alternatives that make all the difference. So one of the reasons I didn't feel deprived is because I had other options. I wasn't telling myself no cookies for you. This holiday season, no yummy foods.

I was telling myself, well, let's find an alternative. Let's learn how to make vegan gluten-free cookies that are amazing. Let's learn how to bring a holiday dish that wows everyone else. That also feels good to me. So, if you were someone who has some sort of dietary restriction and you feel like you often binge because you're missing out on the pleasure, I want you to be really good about finding things that do work for you, finding foods that you do enjoy.

And when you intentionally plan those things. It removes the stress around, what am I going to eat? What am I going to have? What if there's not cookies that I can eat there? Make your own cookies. Bring your own food. Bring your own holiday dishes.

So after doing all of that last year, I learned a lot.

And I'm going to talk a bit about where I am now with my relationship with food and with dairy. So after that bout of gluten-free and dairy-free, I did decide to try to reintroduce some gluten and dairy. And I did find it, the gluten, the dairy I've been often on for I did say on a higher dose of my acne medication until recently where I felt ready to let go of that Harriet again.

So the past two months I've been pretty much 99% dairy free. I do have it on occasion because I know that my body is not allergic to it. And so I don't go into all or nothing thinking with it, which I think is really important to remembering if you're not allergic to it, you can still have it in moderation.

And it's important to tell yourself when you're having in moderation. That you can have it again, if you want to.

So the reason I don't feel deprived any more and I felt really ready to let go of dairy is because I'm telling myself I'm choosing to do this. No one is forcing me to be dairy free. I don't have to do this, but I know that there are consequences from dairy.

And so I make the intentional choice to cut it out because that is what I want. So I don't tell myself I have to do this. I'm so restricted. I never get to eat this. Because that will make you feel. Deprived and restricted and make you want to overeat when you have it. Instead, I'm reminding myself, this is my choice, and I feel empowered about my decision because it's something I actually want to do because I like the result of doing it.

I am reminding myself that I'm not just doing this for the heck of it, but because I love the way I feel with it. I love having clear skin. I love not breaking out. And so it's worth it for me.

But I know at any point in time I can eat dairy again. It's not something I have to do for life. It's not something I have to do every single day, but 99% of the time I choose to do it because for right now it feels like the best decision for me.

And ultimately you will know if it's the right time for you to start doing an elimination diet, working with a functional health practitioner, finding out if you need to cut out certain foods. Because I got to the point where I didn't care, what I had to do. I was so miserable in my skin. I was willing to do anything.

There's a quote that says when the pain is great, enough, people will change and I'm a hundred percent believer in it. There are ways that we can show our brain. That the pain that we are having is bad enough. So if you are overeating right now and you're thinking, Hm, I don't know. Maybe I'm just not having enough pain from overeating. There are exercises we can do to literally show your brain, like, how is overeating causing you pain?

How is this negatively impacting your life? And that's really what I saw from dairy. I got clear evidence after I started introducing it again, that this would lead me to break out. So I had clear reasoning of this is something I don't want to include anymore.

It can also be helpful if you find how making this food choice aligns with your values. So for me, I actually was a vegan at one point. And I truly believe that if it were a little bit easier to be vegan all the time, that I would have been that way, the past 10 years of my life, but because I truly believe morality wise that it is best to not eat dairy.

It made it easier for me. So if you can find something like that too, if you also are needing to go dairy free for health reasons, Look into the animal cruelty, look into how dairy and meat impacts the world and the environment and how it impacts our health. Because once you have that awareness, it can help you see, you know, I'm someone who values the animal welfare in the world.

I'm someone who values the environment. So it's easier for me to make that decision because aligned with my values.

I am interviewing one of my one-on-one clients. Drell in a few weeks, he's going to come on the podcast and the podcast isn't released yet, but it'll be coming soon. And one thing that he mentioned I thought was really interesting is how he found it really nice that. He's eating habits now align with his values. Where he values being truthful.

He values his health. He values being in integrity with himself and what he says he's going to do. So I want you to take a moment and write down your values. What do I value in life? What is important to me? Do I value having integrity? Do I value my health? Do I value not secret eating and showing up in public for people and not hiding these eating habits from the world. Because if you can see, when I stop overeating, I'm actually eating in line with my values that will create a deeper change.

That's easier for it to be permanent.

So to sum up, I want you to know that cutting out any food is not the magic silver bullet to stop overeating. It is the mindset work that really matters. I promise you. I tried all of the actions. I tried cutting out the foods. I tried calling the friend, taking a bubble bath. Chewing bubble gum. Like all of these things are just actions.

And until we address the mindset in the urges, Behind the overeating and binge-eating nothing will actually change. So if you're considering making changes to your diet for health reason, Make for you've done the foundational work on your relationship with food first. So you don't go into all or nothing thinking.

So it doesn't turn into a big binge Fest after you end the things and always being on track or off track. And ultimately to remind yourself that food is a part of pleasure, but it's not the only pleasure in life. Like, if you need to cut out a certain food group. You're a pleasure is not going to end find the other pleasure is find how when you stop overeating, your pleasure is going to increase, not decrease, and you can still have a deeply fulfilling life without the sole focus on food. All right.

Have a good rest of your holiday season. I will talk to you next week. Yeah.