Ep 44 - How a Normal, Naturally Thin Person Eats- Interviewing My Friend Zareen

December 12,2024

Do you ever wish you could sit down with a natural eater, someone who has never dieted or struggled with their weight, and ask them questions?

This is what I’ve done today with one of my best friend’s, Zareen!

Zareen has been naturally thin with a healthy relationship with food her whole life.

You will get a first hand account of how she thinks about eating and her body.

This has been my favorite episode to date and a must listen for anyone wanting to stop overeating and become a confident eater!

TRANSCRIPT:

 Amber: Hello, Confident Eaters. Happy Thursday. I am here with a very special guest today, one of my best friends, Zareen.

We are going to be interviewing her as a natural eater. But before we dive into it, I do have a free workshop coming up this Monday, the 16th. I have a workshop on how to create your binge free brain in 2025. This is going to be talking about how I learned how to stop binge eating, rewiring my brain. And so if you want to come, the link in the show notes will be there to register.

So Zareen, why don't you introduce yourself?

Zareen: Hello, I'm super excited to be here. My name is Zareen. I'm 24 and I am from Houston, Texas And yeah, I've been listening to your podcast a little bit as well, and I'm a huge fan So yeah again, just excited to be here Thank

you.

Amber: And I wanted to have Zareen on the podcast because She has for me always been like an example of someone Who has a very healthy relationship with food in their body, which I feel like is so hard to find nowadays And I know for me and my journey like I just wish I had someone Like you to talk to to like give me advice and because it always seems like this mysterious person Even though I was a natural eater before I started dieting It was really hard for me to figure out like how to get back to that and like what my eating habits were even like Before that I didn't even like remember because I was so young when I started dieting So I think her perspective is going to be so useful today.

We're going to talk all about her history with food and how she thinks about food in her body now. So why don't you start with just like a little background about like what food was like for you growing up and where you are now with it.

Zareen: Yeah, absolutely. So growing up, I actually did have a bit of an almond mom.

She was very strict about snacks in the house, wouldn't really want us to go out and eat fast food. She also grew up in a very different culture. We're immigrants from Pakistan. And so she really just cooked a lot of our traditional foods at home. And that's mostly what I ate and grew up with. So I actually didn't really like have a taste for like the fast food restaurants as well.

And also, the just disparity between the quality of the foods that she would cook versus what I would eat out just really never encouraged me to go out and seek those unhealthier food options that you have, like, here living in America. So yeah, I didn't have snacks in the house, and honestly, I kept that habit as an adult as well.

I don't really snack. Growing up, we would just have three, like, protein based meals. And, yeah, I've never felt the need to change that because it's always worked for me. And I also would feel, like, then I would feel hunger at the natural times that I'm supposed to feel hunger. Otherwise, like, when I did snack, I wouldn't really be hungry during mealtimes, and so I just didn't really feel the need to.

Amber: And did your parents, were they ever dieters or did they just kind of eat naturally too?

Zareen: Yeah, actually my mom was a dieter or actually I'll say she still is. She was one of those women who just always been on a diet. They'll always be like. Oh, I'm going to eat less of this and that sometimes a lot of the time she'll skip dinner And seeing that a lot like as a child made me really sad because she's such a beautiful woman Like definitely not just saying that because she's my mom like she is just stunning gorgeous looks 15 years younger than she is But I think because she had a certain Body type growing up that when she had me and my sister and that changed and she was a different part of her life.

She thought that she had to go back to the way that she looked, you know, in her teenage years, which just isn't natural. And it led to her just not really eating meals, but then seeing that just made me feel really sad. I would like try to encourage her to like, you know, eat more. It just never sat right with me and it just didn't feel natural.

And then, yeah, she used to have these To guilty pleasures and those were cheetos and coke and so like her favorite snack every day would be like cheetos and coke And then one day out of nowhere, she just stocked cold turkey and then also slowed down with her dinners a lot, too So those are a few things I did notice growing up

Amber: So, I want to point out a few things.

One, I think it's very interesting how you still, like, remember her, like, two foods. And that does show that, like, children are always watching, and they are picking up on the eating habits that, like, parents are laying the foundation of. But I also think it's really interesting how you didn't get passed down those eating habits.

Because when I work with a lot of moms, they're really scared about, like, I don't want to pass down my behaviors to my children. I think you're a really good example of someone who actually went the opposite way and who saw that and it felt like a lot of compassion for her and like a lot of sadness that she was going through that and like, You didn't want that for yourself.

You saw probably how miserable she was and like how hard it was to do that dieting life. And so that might even start you in the other way where it's like, I don't want that for myself. And so I think that's just a good example of however children end up, even if your child ends up with an eating disorder, ends up dieting, ends up doing the same exact eating habits that the mom was doing.

It's still not necessarily like all the parents fault because we have so many other cultural influences around us too, that all contribute to our relationship But I also think it's really nice to hear that you were modeled like a very whole food model around food. Like it sounds like they were really filling meals, they were healthy, they were home cooked.

And so you got a good example of like, you know, what does good cooking look like? And how can I create delicious meals for myself? And like valuing food that tastes yummy versus just like the diet food and the healthy food. Because on the other side, I think when parents like really forced like this ultimate like healthy ideal, like we have to always eat.

This certain way then people can also rebel against it and want to like go the other way of like, oh I had to eat healthy my whole life. Like I want to eat whatever I want now

Zareen: absolutely, and honestly I mean her food is still my favorite to this day and I'm so grateful I did get to, you know, grow up with home cooked foods.

I think it's really easy if you don't have parents who are willing to cook for you to just go and get fast food because it's a cheap and fast option. So that's definitely like such a barrier for different people to start healthy eating habits.

Amber: And so have you ever dieted before?

Zareen: So actually no, I haven't.

I've never dieted before. I've definitely been surrounded by diets my whole life in terms of the woman in my family. There's a lot of body shaming that I've grown up with in my family. just seeing the way that they would talk about themselves and other women. It always, you know, again, just made me feel sad that they would feel the need to project those insecurities onto other people.

I always sort of blocked myself from those mindsets because I didn't think it was healthy. I also love food. I mean, I love food. I love eating. And I think Like what a great thing that you can fuel your body that does so much good for you With things that you like and yeah, i've never felt the need to diet

Amber: Yeah So tell us about your personal trainer story because the first time Zareen told me this we were on a beach in Hawaii That's where me and Zareen met is at a co living in Hawaii.

And now we've been best friends since But I remember we were on the beach and she was telling me about this experience with a personal trainer and the meal plan She gave her and it like started stuck in my mind forever because it was such a unique perspective that I'd never heard before. So tell me about like your experience working with a personal trainer and like what happened when you went on the meal plan.

Zareen: Yeah, absolutely. So I really started taking fitness a bit more seriously in the past few years. And part of that experience for me was getting a personal trainer and I loved her. She was absolutely incredible. She was a bit newer to being a professional trainer. And she did actually put me on a meal plan and it was a bulking meal plan.

So I feel like the particular gym I went to, it was specifically like a weightlifting gym. So a lot of the times the goal was to just gain muscle and to get bigger. And you're surrounded by huge weights and nobody's doing Pilates. And that's just not the vibe. So yeah, she put me on a bulking meal plan.

And so that meal plan consisted of. Three full meals and three big snacks and when I say full meals, I mean part of my breakfast was six hard boiled eggs I love eggs, and I don't even need that many I could never but I did actually, you know, I really wanted to give the meal plan my best shot And so I did buy all the ingredients that were necessary to go through with the meal plan for the week I specifically, I remember going grocery shopping, checking everything off, bought like three, four cartons of eggs.

And then my first breakfast, I just remember trying to scarf those eggs down and hating it. And I was like, Feeling like oh my god, like I can't even get this breakfast out Like I was swallowing the eggs and I was drinking with water to get it down. I mean, it's so dry And it just felt kind of painful And then as I was going through the meal plan throughout the day, I mean I was so full by lunchtime I didn't even make it to dinner.

I didn't have the fifth snack. I didn't have the third snack I didn't have the dinner. I was so full by lunch. I thought I was going to throw up And I was like wait This is wrong. I shouldn't like a diet that's helping me be my best self should not make me feel this way I was really confused

Amber: Wait, you should say that again That the diet is supposed to make me feel like my best self and I really shouldn't be feeling this way Yeah, everyone needs to hear that like if your diet is not making you feel like your best self.

It's probably not a good diet It's not a good diet and I

Zareen: immediately Like listening to my body cues I was like I hate this I feel like I'm going to throw up literally couldn't even move Like I was so full and I don't even remember the amount of calories that was in this diet but definitely for someone of my size it was Double or triple the amount of calories that I should be consuming just absolutely unnatural and also if you do choose to bulk there are so many healthier ways to go about it than just Doubling your food intake in a day that definitely was not the way to go And yeah, I figured that out day one.

I just tossed the meal plan out the window never tried that again Yeah, I think that was a huge learning experience for me and I was like, okay Well, I do have fitness goals. Like I do want to tone. I do want to gain muscle but not to that extent And that's when I completely revamped what I wanted to get out of the gym And that was to just have the best version of the body that I already have I love my body.

I love everything it does for me. And I think, you know, that if you choose to shame or hate on it, then you, that creates an unhealthy relationship that you just end up suffering mentally and physically. And I wanted to give myself the chance to really grow into the best version of myself. I feel like growing up with the sort of body type that I have, I mean, there were so many Instagram trends, like especially with the rise of the Kardashians, where it's like women are more curvy, and I never had that.

But it's like when women go to the gym, a lot of the times they want to like, you know, improve their glutes or their legs and just have a certain body type. And I could definitely double my diet and just, Level down on those leg exercises, but at the end of the day would that make me happy? Like I would be working against my natural body composition and it just didn't feel right to me So I was like, okay, like how can I feel sexy and good in my body?

And it's like taking my current body figure Adding tone and some muscle mass that in the right way In with a diet that feels right for me. Yeah, and so yeah that really just helped me It just brought a lot of light to my journey, what I want

Amber: for myself, fitness wise. And what I admire about that so much is, like, personal trainers are, like, this professional, right?

You're paying them good money, I'm sure, you know? And most people so blindly follow professionals advice. And everyone is a professional nowadays. You see an Instagram influencer and you give them all of yourself. Self autonomy. Yeah, self autonomy. Like, a way to this Instagram influencer who knows nothing about you or your body.

So when you're looking at these things, it's like, oh, someone can give me a meal plan. Someone can tell me what to eat. Even something as much as like a guideline of like, oh, you're supposed to eat three meals a day. Like, how do you know? Like, we don't know what's best for your body. I always tell my clients, I never know what's best for your body.

My job as the coach is to help them figure out what's best for their body and like help them guide and trust me. That wisdom and that's something you do so well is like trust your own inner wisdom about what your body needs and so even though you had like this big fancy meal plan, to me it sounds like the personal trainer kind of had your goals in mind but also kind of put on her goals of what she thought you wanted like, Don't you want to gain a ton of muscle and like a big booty and like have all of this and within two months and like here's this giant bulking meal plan that can get you that, but you're like, wait, no, maybe that's not my goal.

And in society, we often get sucked into these goals of like what everyone else is doing of, well, this person's trying to look this way or everyone around us is always trying to lose weight, so I should probably try to lose weight too. But no one ever like sits down and questions like do I actually want to lose weight?

Like, is that actually a really important goal to me right now? Or is that what I just think I need to do in order to be worthy in today's society? And like most people if you sit down and you're like, actually losing 10 pounds that important to me? It's like And it's really weird for people to realize that, that it was just something that society put on them.

And so I think in that experience, you're really showing, like, this realization of, like, what I want is what matters most, not what I think I should do or what someone tells me to do. And, like, my body has the answers for what I uniquely need.

Zareen: A hundred percent. Like, I feel like when I entered the gym, I felt very new to it.

And so I was just seeking advice and help and tips from people. And so when she told me that I should aim for A, B and C, I just took that with a grain of salt. But then when I actually tried to apply her teachings in that way, it just didn't resonate with me. And that's honestly okay. Like you said, like they're not going to know everything about you and your body and your needs.

And sometimes it takes a little bit to get to know what you actually want. But then when you do know what you want, you can act on it.

Amber: Yeah. Have you ever thought about. Your motivating reason to go to the gym is to burn calories, or has it always been for like another reason?

Zareen: Yeah, actually, that has never been my reason to go to the gym, so about me, it's actually really easy for me to lose weight, very difficult for me to put on weight.

So another reason why like I have like my three full protein meals a day is because like I have that calendar just in my head like I never miss a meal because I do want to make sure that I am like at a healthy weight. So when I go to the gym I actually, well I do think it's important for me to like get my steps and movement in.

Cardio isn't really that big of a priority to me just because what I do want is to tone and gain muscle mass. And so no, I've never thought about calorie wise. I think as I've started to eat more protein in my meals, I've started focusing on weightlifting a bit more just so that I'd get my natural calorie loss through weightlifting, but not necessarily like, Oh, I have to run a certain amount of, minutes on the treadmill Every single day that to me sounds exhausting.

I don't want to do that But maybe that's what works for other people. It just depends on what you feel is right for you

Amber: Yeah, and I know I just said that How everyone eats is uniquely them, but I'm gonna ask you a couple questions that I know like were burning in the back of my mind That I just wish I could ask someone on my journey So like what is a typical day of eating like for you?

Zareen: Yeah, absolutely. So in the mornings, I Normally eat like a lighter breakfast just because I don't really like feel that hungry in the mornings And so like I listen to you My natural cue and I'm like, okay, I'll have something light. Normally I'll have like a protein oatmeal and I'll have bananas or some sort of fruit with that.

And I'll just drink some water. And that's my typical breakfast. As for lunch, it really varies. My favorite protein is fish and chicken. So normally I'll have like. some homemade chicken or fish. I'll cook up some salmon, have that with a bed of rice, some veggies, or I'll go out, we'll have chipotle right next door, maybe grab some of that.

I also really love pho. There's like a really good Vietnamese spot by my house, so I'll go and get some healthy Vietnamese noodles. But yeah, that's sort of a good like filling lunch just to feel me until dinner, which is normally when I have like my biggest meal, either that's a different protein or something more fun or I'll typically go out to dinner with my friends or family and yeah that's typically what it looks like and I'll end with dessert.

I'll give myself a sweet treat at the end. I love chocolate. I have a sweet tooth so I will normally I'll have like a couple little pieces of Toblerone ready for me in the pantry because if we have like Other like candies than like I do eat them. So I'm like, okay, if I just have a tolerant bar I'll just eat one and feel satisfied The rest of the day.

Yeah, and how do you decide what foods to eat? honestly whatever I Want it like whatever i'm feeling I will like allow myself to eat that like I think the reason i'm able to do that and still maintain a healthy diet is because I do have a lot of Foods and I have a lot of filters in what I am eating.

So for example I grew up never drinking soda. I don't drink soda I actually usually avoid juices in america as well except for when i'm traveling than we're natural But in america stay away from the juices. I usually just have water with my meals even when i'm at restaurants I don't order a drink. I order water And then I also typically try to order healthier meats like chicken or fish Or I always like have the back of my head like okay, like is the meal i'm about to consume healthy I do try to avoid fast food.

I don't really eat fast food. I i'll say I have fast maybe twice a month max Just because it doesn't align with what I want to put in my body And so with those filters already on If i'm craving something Slightly different i'll let myself have it with those filters on because I already feel like i'm doing enough For myself.

Amber: Yeah. Like Zareen, as she's talking about this, it wasn't a hard and fast rule. Like, it doesn't, like, to you, you kind of are describing them like they're rules, but to me,

like,

as a coach, I'm like, this is, I can tell this is not a rule for you because she's like, well, in general, I don't have juice, but like when I'm traveling around Mexico, like I have juice, like she is not sitting over here stressing about, I'm guessing, like, oh my gosh, what if Mexico has juices?

What am I going to do then? I don't have juice. Or like, what happens if I am really hungry and I need to go to fast food and I don't have fast food? You're like, no, I just like have fast food because I know I don't have it every day. So I call that more of like a guideline of like, you know, you have these filters for what guides you're eating.

Do you ever feel like restricted by these guidelines that you have? Honestly, no, like I feel like I give myself a

Zareen: lot of freedom in choosing the foods that I eat I know that if I do over restrict myself I'll just break those barriers down and just full run it eat whatever I want And so just having those filters on like those guidelines, as you said, I mean, yes like They're casual enough where it's like, I don't feel any like pressure to meet them, but I am meeting them.

And it does come very naturally to me. And I've just naturally done this my whole life and also just have it a little bit in the back of my head. I do think about my health as well. And it's like, what do I want for myself in like the future? And so keeping those long term goals in mind is how I create my daily eating habits.

Amber: Yeah, so I think that's really important to hear that you can keep your health in mind. Like. A lot of people think, oh my gosh, if I'm going to be like this intuitive natural eater, I'm just going to go off the walls, like I'm going to crave junk 24 7. All I'm going to want is sweets. But when you actually talk to someone who is like an intuitive eater, what you'll realize is you naturally just find the ebb and flow of eating habits where you actually, your body craves It's like, you know, I eat mainly healthy food most of the time, like that's genuinely what you want, because you want to feel good, you want to feel energized in your body, you want to be healthy and feel just really energized throughout your life, but that's not something that feels restrictive to you, because you're also not telling yourself, I can never have fast food, you know, no juices, no desserts, it's like, I don't have dessert at night, because I love dessert, and Ian Zirine loves sharing dessert, and I love that you love dessert too, because I also love dessert, and people just get so regimented of like, And like I get this because this is me too of like well But how often can I have dessert like how much is normal and there's no one rule I'm sure you do not have like a rule.

I can only have dessert twice a week or something It's just kind of like you have it when you want it and you just enjoy it and then you move on with your life And then you know, like you'll have it again soon and it's like no big deal And I think people really need to understand that Like, that's how it's going to be when you're an intuitive eater.

It's not going to go off the walls. Now if you're, you know, listening to my podcast and you're struggling with this, like it does take some steps to get there because most of us have been so wrapped up in diet culture for so long that we have like so many rules in our head and we take them so seriously.

But it's like once we start to let go of those rules and just implement like gentle, soft guidelines, like, we'll actually be a lot healthier because we're not going all or nothing. Like you said, if you put these strict rules on it. You know, no dessert for you this week. You have to wait a week. It's like, well now I really want it.

Now it feels like something I can't have and it feels like extra special now. So then how do you know when to start eating and when to stop eating?

Zareen: Yeah, I usually have habits where I eat around the same time every day. So typically when I wake up, I'll have my first couple of calls for work and then I'll head down.

And then I'll just, you know, after my first meeting, I'm like, okay, it's time for my oats. And so I'll just have my oats and my bananas. And then a couple hours later, when I just feel hungry, I'm like, okay, it's lunchtime, maybe around between 12 to two. And then I'll have like dinner between six to eight with my family or friends.

And yeah, so for me, I do like keep a bit of like an internal cloth just because I do know that it is healthier to keep eating at the same times as well. And so just having that in mind and also just the understanding that I don't want to accidentally skip a meal, I just follow through with the timings and also the hunger that I do just naturally feel at those times.

And what about how do you know when to stop eating? Yeah, I have sort of figured out the serving sizes that I usually like with food. And so I, I will always like serve myself just a little bit less. Like I'll never overdo it. I think I also did grow up in a culture where it's like, Oh, like you're at your grandma's house and she's like, keep eating, keep eating.

Like, you know, and I'm like, well, I just don't want to. I'm full and I'm satisfied. And so I'll like finish my first serving and if I'm satisfied I'll stop or if I'm not then I'll just add a little bit of a second serving and yeah

Amber: that's really it. Yeah and I almost was like trying not to laugh during that only because like I can just tell how simple and easy it is for you and it's like well I just like you know I eat when I normally eat and I'm just hungry and then I don't know if I'm satisfied and I stop, but if I'm not, I keep going because like that is how simple it is.

But again, like when you're listening to this podcast, like it takes time to get there. And like, it took so long for me to get there too. And it was like, after I started calorie counting, I thought like I could never listen to my body again because there was like, I thought I had to know the calories. But really it's like your body has so much more wisdom than you could ever know.

And like, it will let you know if you're hungry, it'll like tell you to eat. And when you're done, it's going to tell you to stop and eat. You can get to that point where you have these cues figured out and then it just becomes really effortless throughout your day. And I also think it's important to note that like you do have like an eating routine or schedule of sorts and I think sometimes people think, okay, if I'm gonna start listening to my hunger and fullness, it's gonna be like this magical moment where I'm just like, okay, I'm hungry.

Let's go eat and like, You know, you can still have routine around it. And I encourage most of my clients to eat like every three to six hours ish to get into that more regular routine because so many dieters are just used to like, okay, can I skip this meal? Can I fast for like another twelve hours today and like go even longer without food?

And it's like, no, like, Most people, they eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Like, that's how the majority of our society eats. You know, we have something going on there that's working out for most people. And so, like, it's okay to have a bit of that schedule. But I also know that, like, you're flexible with it.

It's not like, I have to eat within two hours. And so many people, they want that rule of, like, do I have to eat after one hour, two hours, three hours? It's like, well, just have, like, a range, you know? Like, about what, that's about when I'll eat. And then you just wait until you're hungry.

Zareen: 100%.

Amber: Okay, do you ever overeat?

And if you do, do you feel like guilty? What do you do if you do?

Zareen: Yeah, there have been a few times where I have eaten past me being full and it's literally just because the food is so good that I just don't want to stop eating. Um, like I remember I was trying here in Mexico, obviously, and I I was trying this new Oaxacan mole dish and it was so delicious and I had extra bites because I was like, wow, like I'm so happy I'm experiencing this food.

Then I had my few extra bites and I was like, okay, that's good. And then I stopped and sometimes it's like, it's okay to like allow yourself to have a few extra bites just because you're enjoying the taste and flavor so much. But truly it would just be to enjoy the food. And then I always, you know, stop after.

Amber: What percent of the time do you feel like that is?

Zareen: Probably, maybe like 2 percent of the time?

Amber: That's interesting because it's like, some people think like, oh, if the food is good, I'm always going to overeat it because it's like just good. I mean, I kind of like know like the answer to this, but it's like usually when the food is really good.

But like, what? Yeah. Does something have to be in order to be like worthy of overeating?

Zareen: Yeah, I mean it has to be like special and unique like not something that i'm eating all the time Maybe it's like a unique experience or unique culinary experience. I'm at this michelin star restaurant Wow, this dish is so good like compliments the chef.

Let me have some extra bites It's like it's when food becomes an experience and you just want to indulge a little bit more because why not you only live once Let's have a few extra bites, but then You And that's it. I don't really feel the need to do that with my regular everyday food just because it's not like an extra special experience.

And I don't feel the need to eat more.

Amber: Yeah. And I want you all to hear too, it's like a few extra bites. Like, you're not saying, screw it, we're being bad today. Like, let's let loose and let's have like ten cakes together and like go crazy for the next four days. Like, but that's what we do when we're dieters.

Because it's like We feel so restricted all the time and then all of a sudden like we get this pass to overeat and it's like well I gotta get my overeating in While the time is here, but really it's like no, it's more of an intentional decision of like this food is really good I want a few extra bites of it.

I enjoy it. And then do you ever feel guilty after or what are your thoughts? Like after that happens?

Zareen: Yeah, I don't feel guilty because i'm only human it's okay for me to want a few extra bites of what i'm eating I don't think that's shameful. I think You I mean, how lucky and blessed am I to be able to eat something so delicious that I want more past me being full.

So no, I'm just always just grateful for the food and the experience.

Amber: And I know you love to eat out, which I do too. We've been eating out so much here in Mexico because like all the food is so cheap. But do you have any like different thoughts at restaurants or like any fears or like, what if this food has too much fat or sugar or calories?

Like, do you have any different thoughts at restaurants?

Zareen: Yeah, usually when I look at a menu, I mean, I know what I typically like to eat and what I go for. I do try to just avoid the foods that I know maybe make me feel a little bit more sick, especially in a new country. So I typically try to stick with the leaner meats like turkey, chicken, or fish, or sometimes I'll just go full veggie.

I know I'm gonna get a lot of vegetarian foods with amber. It's been great. But yeah, I think when I order those Meals, it's usually the sort of meat that I like. Um, And I do try to aim for a bit more of the healthier options as well Except for when i'm feeling like a bit more extra then i'll have the other option But then yeah, just the understanding that usually the restaurant portions are a lot bigger than what I normally eat So then I normally just take food home to go and then i'll have that as part of my meal later

Amber: Yeah, exactly. Then you get leftovers whenever someone says to me like I'm scared of wasting food. Like I paid for it. It's like, well, when you get leftovers, you get. Twice the amount of food. Like you're saving money because now you don't have to make anything for tomorrow. So it's like actually the best deal. Yeah, I love it.

I love leftovers so much. Good to know. So the last thing that I wanted to cover is how you view your body because, you know, if you're watching this on YouTube, you'll see our beautiful friend Zareen here. But Zareen is what I would consider like the cultural ideal of a naturally thin person. Um, of course, cultural ideals like shift a lot over time, but I think it was interesting how you mentioned earlier too, like how that cultural shift has impacted you, like as a People have been wanting more curvier bodies.

It's like, well, maybe I should try to get curvier. And then you're like, no, that's like not me. That's not my unique body. And so tell me about like your body image, how you view your body, how you think about it.

Zareen: -Yeah, absolutely. So growing up, like you said, I've always been on the naturally skinny side.

When I was younger, I definitely might've been considered a bit underweight when I was just a child, you know, that's actually kind of common. But then growing into my adult body, kind of keeping the same frame, but also just seeing all the different body standards now being presented to me in social media, I was kind of like, but why though?

This is my natural body, so why would I want to change that? And like, yeah, with the whole rise of the Kardashians and everything, different bodies are, they're coming in and out of fashion. That has never really made sense to me, because it's really not that easy. And also when it comes to certain body standards, it's like, well, is that appealing to the male gaze in a certain way?

And as someone who identifies as bisexual and also dates women, I have never been so critical about a woman's body where it's like, oh my god, like she needs to Look like this specific celebrity or she needs to have this specific feature I think that if you truly do love somebody or want to pursue someone in a serious way All that goes out the window.

I mean, I think women are so naturally beautiful, and when we embrace, like, our natural beauty, it doesn't get better than that. It truly doesn't. Like, I think there's also, personally, nothing more attractive than someone embracing their natural selves and just really honing in on their natural beauty.

Yeah, just with the way that I look at women in that space, I expect nothing less from the men in my life to be women in that way as well. So when you remove sort of the superficial reasons for wanting a certain body type, I think you sort of have an understanding that, oh, like removing those perspectives.

What is your body actually for and it's like to have healthy movement in your life like with your body You're able to walk you're able to run participate in sports I mean, there's so much that your body provides to you on a day to day basis And yeah, I want to support my body the way my body supports me And that is in honing in on my body type what works for my body type and what works for me And yeah, actually something that I have done is like just like Look into celebrities that have like similar body types even and be like, okay, like what do they wear?

What clothing is flattering on them and how do they present themselves? And I think you know just surrounding yourself with positive body image and Healthy role models and that is really really beneficial and keeping that healthy perspective on

your own body as well

Amber: Yeah, absolutely and seeing like those bodies that look like mine.

They're also beautiful. They're also lovable They're also worthy and like bodies exist in so many different shapes and sizes and I also want to point out that like You're thin and you're not happy all the time like guys the rain gets sad big surprise and A lot of people think though I'm gonna get skinny and I'm gonna arrive at this magical fantasy land.

And this is definitely what I thought that like, if I could just lose another five pounds, like everything in my life will be perfect. All the guys will love me. Everyone will want to be my friend. I'll be successful. I'll be hot. Like all of the things would come true. And then you get there and it's like, Where is my magical rainbows and butterflies and unicorns?

Like, nothing is that special there. All that changes is your number on your scale. And so I think it's important to see that, like, you know, even when someone is at this, like, naturally thin ideal, like, your life isn't necessarily better because of it in any way or form. Yeah, 100%. And everyone faces obstacles and hardships and, um, barriers to their life that they have to overcome.

And, like, I've gone shopping with Zareen, and she will face, like, the other problem at times, Where, like, you have, sometimes clothes are too big for you, and, like, it's hard to find clothes that might fit you in the right way. And some people think, oh, I could just go shopping at, you know, 10, 20 pounds lighter, like, everything would be easier.

And it's like, maybe not, like, clothes are so different everywhere. Like, no clothing item is gonna fit everyone 100 percent of the time. And so, it's just important to realize that whatever body you're at requires acceptance and love and gratitude. And that's only something you can create now, versus something that will come from a certain shape or size.

Zareen: Yeah, 100 percent and like going off of what you said, I actually like find it very difficult to online shop Just because usually like it just doesn't fit me like the bottom The top, I'm also like, a taller woman, and so that also like, just affects like, clothing sizes, and I think like, we're all shaped so differently, like it's not like a one size fits all scenario, and so yeah, definitely has not been like, and also, in general, life has not just been a magical La La Land, because of my body type, I definitely, You know, there's still so much more to life than just your body.

Yeah. That's what I'm trying to say. Yeah.

Amber: Well, Zaree, thank you so much for coming on today. This is like already been my favorite episode, I think. And I know everyone's going to find it so, so helpful to have your perspective. So thank you for coming today.

Zareen: Thank you so much for having me.