Ep 63- When You Hit Your Highest Weight
April 24, 2025
If you’ve recently stepped on the scale and seen your highest weight ever, this episode is for you. I share my personal story of hitting rock bottom, the panic that followed, and the mindset shifts that helped me move forward without shame, crash dieting, or harsh punishment.
You’ll learn:
Why taking panicked actions will lead to panicked results
What hitting your highest weight might actually be telling you
Steps on how to not binge eat and make helpful changes to your eating habits
Using this moment as your turning point towards success
Transcript:
Hello, confident eaters. If you are listening to this today, I know you might be in a really hard place. I vividly remember when I hit my highest weight and I stepped on the scale. I saw the number and I was absolutely in shock, but it wasn't the first time that I felt in shock about the number because in the weeks prior, I could see the number climbing and climbing and climbing.
And in the months prior, and in the years prior, I had always struggled with my weight being up and down and up and down due to the amount of binge eating I was doing. And then I would restrict. And be on a strict calorie count or try intermittent fasting or do something else to bring it down in an unsustainable way.
But I would eventually give up, usually just after a couple days, sometimes even a few hours, and then the weight would go right back up, climbing even higher. When you have this moment of hitting your highest weight, a lot of emotions and thoughts can come up.
For me, I felt really ashamed. I felt really scared. I felt like I was really out of control and I didn't know how to stop it. I wasn't sure what I was gonna do because I felt like I was already trying all the things.
I was going to therapy, I was doing everything that Google's had suggested to me. I was literally Googling to page 50 and doing every single thing that I could and nothing was working. So I was really scared what was I gonna do now, how were things going to shift? And I was worried that people weren't going to want to be my friends anymore that I wasn't going to find love anymore. And I might not have even thought these things super consciously, but deep down I was really scared of not being accepted or loved anymore because I was at this new higher weight.
I was struggling with finding clothes to fit. I didn't know if I should buy new clothes or I should donate the ones I already had or if I should say, you know what? I guess this is just where I'm gonna be forever and just continue buying new clothes. I really thought I was gonna have to give up that there was not a solution out.
And so if this has recently happened to you where you have stepped on the scale and you've seen a higher number than you were used to, or your highest weight that you've ever been at, I really feel for you because I know how difficult this experience can be and the impact it can sometimes have on our eating habits where we start to go to the drastic actions and we diet harder, and then we binge harder and we just get caught in this cycle even more.
When we feel panic about something, including the number on this scale. And we try to take actions from that place. We're going to be getting panicked results. And this is a big mistake I see people make where they're in this panic of, oh my gosh, I just hit my highest weight. Now let me go make a hundred million changes to see if I can get down to a lower weight as quickly as possible. And then this is usually when we go to those unsustainable actions that we D know don't work.
So what you're not gonna do is Google how to lose 10 pounds in a week. What you're not gonna do is throw out all your clothes and buy the smallest jeans possible so you can use 'em as motivation. What you're not gonna do is beat yourself up for days and days and days hoping that you can change because we know that that does not work.
Studies have shown time and time again that shame is not a long-term motivator to change. Sometimes we can make a quick change by shaming yourself, but it never is going to last long term because it feels really shitty. It feels really shitty to be beating yourself up all the time.
But if this is you right now, here is what we are going to do instead. That's actually going to be productive. That's actually gonna help you analyze why have you gotten to your highest weight and what you can do about it.
So the first thing I want you to do is pause and take a few deep breaths. Wherever you are let's just like take a few deep breaths together right now because we can always use this in calmer nervous system. So taking a big inhale in through your nose and out through your nose twice as long.
And another one inhaling gratitude for your body. And exhaling out any shame.
Inhaling in love and exhaling out any pain.
So now that we've calmed your nervous system down a little bit, which is always our first step, I want you to ask yourself, what am I making this number on this scale mean about me right now? Are you making it mean that I've done something wrong, that I'll never figure this out, I'm out of control, I'm doomed. No one will love me anymore. My husband is gonna divorce me.
Really just take a moment and acknowledge what am I making this number that exists mean about me as a human? And then I want you to get factual. All the number on a scale is a number. It is a measure of your gravitational pole on the earth.
Nothing else. It is one piece of many in your factors of health. It has nothing to do with your lovability, your worth, and who you are as a human being. It's just a piece of data, and I want you to go through and ask yourself, are these things really true? Is it true that I'll never figure this out? No, you can't figure this out.
Just because you're still gaining weight doesn't mean you'll never figure this out. Just 'cause you're struggling right now doesn't mean you're never going to learn how to get out. Is it true that you've done something wrong? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe you have been eating more than your body needs, but maybe not.
Maybe you have been truly listening to your body, but you have something hormonal going on that we can't control in this moment, and you might need to go see a doctor about.
Is it true that you're out of control? Truly true. I know you might first say, yes, it is true, Amber, I'm absolutely out of control around food.
But my guess is there are times where you are in control. There are times where you have said no to food. And is it true that you're doomed? No, of course not. I promise you. I was in this place too, and I've worked with hundreds of other people just like you, who also felt hopeless in this place and did get out. It's 100% possible.
Then once you've gotten factual, I want you to shift your perspective. You can use this as a sign from your body. A signal that your body is saying, Hey, something is not working for me right now. Can we try a different approach?
This is what's going to help you shift from shame to curiosity, because curiosity is what will help you actually figure this out. When we feel ashamed, what do we do? We wanna lay in bed all day, beat ourself up and probably eat more snacks. But when we're curious, we're actually going to learn what's going on and we're gonna lift up the hood under our brain and say, why have I gained weight? Answer that question. Why have I hit my highest weight? Not by saying, because I'm lazy and I dunno what I'm doing and I'll never be able to do this.
But you know, maybe thinking maybe I don't have the right tools right now. Maybe I've been dieting and it's been shown time and time again that dieting is not gonna work.
Ask yourself, what's been going on lately? Has there been a big stressor in your life? Has there been a big change? Have you been missing support in an area that you usually have support in?
This is not a sign of a failure, but just a signal of what might be going on inside your mind and body. Then I want you to decide what you wanna do next. Taking the teeniest, tiniest baby step, we are not going to make a massive overhaul overnight. So do not tell yourself, I'm going to change 20 different things by tomorrow morning and we are going to get our act together because that might work for the next 24 hours.
But then you're gonna give up because you're making too many changes and that feels too hard for our brain. Teeny, tiny steps do work and they're the way that you're going to get out of this.
Would it feel good for you to decide to eat one mindful meal tomorrow? So maybe deciding I'm gonna turn off the TV and really be present with my dinner to notice the flavors, the textures, the get the pleasure out of it that I'm actually wanting to, and seeing how that helps.
Maybe I'm going to take an actual lunch break at work tomorrow for even just five, 10 minutes, so I'm not continuing to work all day in front of the screen. Can you check in with your hunger and fullness just once tomorrow?
Setting a timer in the morning. Am I hungry? Am I not hungry? Can I give myself some food to make sure I'm fueled today?
Setting a timer after dinner? Does my body truly need food right now, or is this just an old urge coming up that doesn't really have meaning or significance because my body's already fed and fueled?
Maybe you want to spend just five minutes journaling about how you're feeling. Instead of turning to food. Could you take a short walk outside, not to burn calories, but just to feel connected to your body, to the outside world to give you a little boost of joy. And finally, I want you to know that even though it feels like you might be rock bottom right now, this moment can actually change so much for you.
When I look back on my journey, it was when I hit that highest weight and I was crying in my bedroom frantically looking for how to change that I first came across coaching.
It was the moment that I decided to invest in myself, so I never had to struggle with it again. It was the moment where I really started learning about how our brains work and how our habits in our psychology around food make up our binge eating.
Sometimes we need to hit rock bottom in order to go up. There's a quote that says, when the pain is great enough, people will change and I truly believe that. Once we see how much pain we're in, how much pain binge eating is causing in our life. It can sometimes be the wake up moment we need to do something different.
This might be the moment where you're realizing I do want support, and that you don't have to do this alone. There is nothing wrong with needing support for your eating, and when you get support with food, you are going to be in a much different place than if you were to continue to try things that aren't working on your own. So this might be your sign, whether it's time to get help in my Confident Eater program to look into another option. Whatever makes you feel, seen, understood, supported, this could be your moment to change everything.
When your world feels like it's crumbling apart, it can feel really sucky. But then the good news is you have an opportunity to put it back together. You get to decide how you wanna rebuild from this moment. Do you wanna be the hero of your story? Or do you wanna be the villain who just continues to do the same thing over and over and harming themself?
Think of this as an opportunity to come out stronger, to be an inspiration for other women in your life who are also struggling with food, that things can change. That just because you're having a hard moment with food and that you've struggled with it in the past, doesn't mean that it has to be that way forever. I'd love to help you out of this and we can always start with a free consultation call, which is where we will talk about how to get you out of this rock bottom so you can become the confident eater of your dreams, who is a normal natural eater.
All right? No matter where you are today, I want you to know that it's not permanent. You can change. Having your highest weight today does not mean this is always gonna be your highest weight. We wanna get curious, figure it out, and keep moving forward. You've got this.