Ep 46 - Secret Eating to Aligned Eating- Jerrel’s Story

December 26,2024

Today, I interview my client Jerrel and his story with food before & after the Confident Eater Program! Jerrel is a nurse and always felt like he had a chaotic relationship with food. After struggling with secret eating, he realized his values around food weren’t aligned with his actions and that’s when he started working with me 1:1.

Listen along to hear how he went from 5x a week overeating to ZERO plus…

• The common mental justifications used to cope with urges

• Letting go of the binge/restrict cycle with sugar

• How he got rid of his fear of hunger

TRANSCRIPT

 Amber: Hello, confident eaters. Happy Thursday. I am here joined with an amazing client who just recently went through the confident eater program with me and I'm so excited to have him on today. His name is Jerrel and Jerrel, why don't you say hi?

Jerrel: Hi everyone. My name is Jerrel. Introduced myself, I guess a little bit about me.

I'm 33. I live in Nebraska, family of five. I'm a nurse. So me in a nutshell.

Amber: Yeah. And I think it's really fun that you have kids too, because I know that one of our initial conversations we had and you're motivating reason why you were doing this is to be an example of a healthy relationship with food and your body for your kids.

And I think so many people can relate to that as parents, where they want to set this example for their kids as their kids start getting older too.

So tell me a bit about where were you at the beginning of the program when you started with food and your relationship with it?

Jerrel: Yeah. I mean, lack of better word, just chaos, honestly, yeah, just food was just kind of this up and down thing.

I don't know. There's just like a lot of turmoil around the subject. So yeah, I think that's it. Again, just kind of real brief like I was just gonna pick a word chaos.

Amber: And tell me what that looked like on the day to day like walk me through a Typical day or a typical week because I know sometimes like the days can be different sometimes like we feel like we're doing well For a few days and then we like go quote unquote off track.

So describe to me maybe like What a week would look like for you with food before.

Jerrel: Yeah. So it kind of like the on and off track was definitely me. So I'd be on track for a few days off. It looked very much like just like these overwhelming urges. There'd be certain, you know, places during my day, certain times of the day that I just had these urges and I would always try to either completely control them and say no, or I would just totally give in.

And when I gave into an urge, it literally took the form of a binge. So yeah, just like day to day, I'd be. One day I'd have maybe all these restrictions, you know, I'm not gonna eat sugar today, I'm not gonna eat cookies, or I'm gonna avoid the cafeteria at work today, like that's my only goal today, is don't go there.

And then, you know, I might do that for a couple days, and then pretty soon I find myself with this urge and next thing you know, I'm in the cafeteria. Well, what am I gonna do there? I'm gonna eat something. And as soon as I eat it, you know, it's like all of a sudden like the gates open, it's just this allowance to just, Or, yeah, I kind of almost have to think about this, because it's so much not me now, but, you know, it would also be this idea of just like, well, you know, I did one thing wrong today, day's over, like, I might as well make the best of it, I'm going to eat everything I can, or everything that I've said is off limits, or the most of it, because tomorrow, I'm starting over

or I was usually a day to day kind of guy. I would never say like on Monday I'm starting. It was always tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll be better. So yeah, I just looked very much like that. If there's, you know, cookies in the house, my daughter likes to bake. I'm walking by the cookie jar. I know they're there.

I'm going to grab one. I'm going to grab another one. And every time I walk by, I'm going to grab one. So, yeah, just day to day, very much a lot like that. Situationally, I felt a lot of guilt around doing that, walking by the cookie jar and grabbing one so I'd find ways to walk by and get one, but then like sneak outside to eat it.

Try to eat it when no one's looking and I'd like try to justify it in a sense of just like this protective thing where like I'm not gonna let my kids see me eat it cause they don't need to learn to eat like this, or they don't need a cookie right now. So I'll just go away and eat it.

So, yeah, I just .

Amber: Okay. So tell us then, with that secret eating, how did you start to overcome that? Because if you wanted, you didn't want your kids to see those habits. What did you do or start to think differently in order to feel comfortable changing that and getting out of this grid eating?

Jerrel: Yeah. So as far as like the guilt goes, yeah, very much.

I like agree. Like there's this like persona, this like person I was trying to be and you know, this binge eating, this overeating, like didn't fit that. So I very much was just like a lot of this hiding thing. There were other parts, but one time we talked about how. Like that guilt and that hiding like it felt like lying and there was these other pieces of that that were very much not like of my values And so there's this big like non alignment of my values versus what I was actually doing so I think that was one perspective that like kind of encouraged me to start changing that being seen more because You know, the person is being in the person I should be or want to be like again, they needed to be in alignment.

So I think that encouraged me to kind of start down that path of just being more, more open. And then as far as like how to actually do it. It's just being willing To start to try it, you know, you gave me lots of tools to use and just stepping into those and then using them in every situation not just you know when i'm feeling good or you know when i'm in certain areas like We might get to this but you know, like i'm allowed to eat cookies and sugar and So for a long time like i'm scared to let people see me cookies and sugar Like it's okay.

Like I can let them see me because i'm still doing what I should be You Or what I'm supposed to be, I'm using my tools. I'm using my things to align myself again. And so that's all right to be seen in that.

Amber: Yeah. And I like that you mentioned this aspect of like being seen in it, because it is almost a vulnerable thing for us to like sit and eat cookies in front of someone else, because it's not something we're used to doing, and it might be something that we're not used to having other people see us doing. So they might question, like, Oh, you're having a cookie right now? Like, why are you having cookies? And like honestly, most of the time that doesn't happen, but that's what we imagine is gonna happen, is everyone's gonna question us. And sometimes they do occasionally, like if we're really someone who like, if you're listening to this and you have really strict food rules right now and you're starting to like unravel, those people are used to seeing you eat with those strict food rules.

And so it's different for them to see you, like, go out of that or see you eating the cookies or your kids to like, they might be like, well, like, dad, you're eating cookies. I want to eat a cookie. And it's like, yeah, we have to get used to that at first and it does become a bit of an adjustment to get to the place we want to be with food.

But once we start to realize, like, my biggest affirmation during that time was always, like, I'm not doing anything wrong, like, I'm eating a cookie. I'm allowed to eat a cookie. There's nothing wrong with me sitting here and eating a cookie. But it was a lot of the fear of, like, what are people going to think of me eating this?

And what happens if I get an urge to binge during this, which I think is a big part of it too, is like what if I want to eat more and then I'm around these people and then I can't eat more or I don't want them to see me eating more. And so I think part of it too is as you start to trust yourself more around these foods, which we do a lot with the trigger food process and going into an abundance mindset with them, once we trust ourself more, then I think that we can go more into the comfortability around them because we don't feel like so much fear around, oh my gosh, what if I binge on this food?

It's like, well, I can trust that. I'm starting to build these new skills and these new tools where I'm not going to do that anymore.

Jerrel: Yeah, absolutely for sure. Yeah, I think there's a couple things you said there like one with like the food rules I had all these rules and so like it felt like breaking them and so Being seen I felt like everyone else probably had the same exact rules and so to break the rule They were all gonna see that and so like again That's where like the rules weren't serving me and they were even making it harder to You know, again, be seen at all because of that.

Amber: So you mentioned that you had this belief before too around sugar, which was a big thing that we worked through. And so I want to dive deeper into that where you used to have like this belief that sugar is bad and I should always say no to it. Like the more I say no to it, the better things are. Tell me about that a bit more and how you started to change that belief.

Jerrel: Yeah, again, it felt like a rule that made sense, but in reality it didn't. Like I said no sugar, But sugar comes in lots of forms, so it was only like, what I decided that day was sugar, you know, quote unquote. And so yeah, I would just kind of restrict myself Nonelessly in the form of like sweet, like desserts, cookies, cakes, candy.

And So kind of work out of that. I think one of the biggest things that, you know, you've told me like multiple times, it was just like you might need it. You've told me about, you know, like marathon athletes, they're running. And like at some point they're deficient of energy.

And so they just drink pure sugar and it's okay because they need it. And so just like recognizing that, my body can need things. And it's okay, and it knows how to use them. I think that was one kind of perspective shift that helped. Like, I just labeled it as bad all of the time.

And it's like, well, if it can not be bad for this person, like, does it have to be bad for me?

Amber: Right. And I like that you mentioned that your body knows how to use it. Because like, a lot of the marketing around sugar is like, it's killing us. It's poison. Like, you know, we need to eliminate it all immediately because we're all dying from it.

And it's like, Yes, I am not here to dispute that we have an excess of added sugars in our environment. I am never here to argue that we should all be eating more sugar in any way, shape, or form. But like, our body does know how to process sugar. Like, refined sugar is just a more concentrated form of natural sugars that exist in the world, of sugarcane, which naturally exists.

And we've been eating for sugarcane, for like 10, 000 years. Like, our bodies know that. And a lot of us know how to use sugar, and it's its preferred energy source, too. So if we're in need of that quick hit of energy for running a marathon or reaching a hard workout, it might actually be useful to our body.

But beyond that, too, it can just be useful because we enjoy it, and because it's delicious. And sometimes we're allowed to have enjoyable, delicious things, too. And what I think is most important, too, is to see how we show up when we have these beliefs. Because beliefs themselves are not good or bad. And sugar is bad is a belief.

Because sugar is not always bad, not all forms of sugar. Like, it is not a fact that sugar is bad. Because otherwise, everyone in the world would agree that every single form of sugar is bad all the time. And that's just not true. So it's not a circumstance that sugar is bad, it's a thought. But we want to see how we show up when we have that thought.

And often times, when we believe that sugar is bad, and we should always say no to it, then the second we do have it, we feel a lot of guilt. And then we have this extreme guilt, and that's when you were mentioning earlier today, that like, Then we go into the all or nothing thinking, it's like, well, now's my time, like, gotta get it all in before I go back to my belief of sugar's bad and I should always say no to it.

So what do you feel like you now believe around sugar instead? I

Jerrel: mean, I think the biggest belief is just that I can, like, I'm in control of it. It's really, I think, what, you know, sugar was always, it was labeled as bad in all forms, you know, but also it was labeled as, like, Uncontrollable like I can either eat none and I'll be okay or but if I take that one bite, then it's you know I'm out of like there will be no control again, just like that all or nothing that binge mindset and so the thought was always that like I Can't eat one and be okay Like but now I totally like it's the complete opposite I believe that I can eat one bite and that can be enough and I can stop should I choose?

right I believe that I can eat the whole candy bar and it will not cause a binge. And that I can do that. Right? I can sit down and decide to eat one bite of ice cream or I can decide to eat, you know, a scoop of ice cream and I can be done. Whereas before, like, the thought was just that, like, I could never be done.

Like, or it'll never be enough. Or we've talked a lot about always trying to find that first bite again, find like almost like that high of like the eating and it never comes back until you allow yourself to get hungry again, but yeah, just knowing that, you know, I think another thought would just be to like I can be happy, I can be satisfied, I can enjoy this in one bite just as much, if not more than I could with five bites, 10 bites, half a gallon.

Amber: Yeah, one thing we explored like a few weeks ago, which was a really fun concept was like, how is one bite even better than like 10 bites or the whole thing? Like, how can that actually bring you more pleasure to have just one bite than all of it and more joy? And it's really, when you ask your brain, these helpful questions, it's going to give you a helpful answer.

So it's going to start to think like, How could one bite be just as good? How could it be even better? And I think what we came up with was a lot around, you know, like, when you go to Disney World, if you go every single day, it's not that exciting. But when you go, like, once or twice in your lifetime, it's like, the most exciting thing ever.

And so it's kind of the same thing with food, of, you know, if we have chocolate every single day, five times a day, Then it's not that special. But then if we get like a really good quality one and we enjoy it and we wait till we're hungry, it will actually be so much more better of an experience. Just have that one really high quality piece than if we were to eat like shitty chocolate a few times a day, every day.

And it's like, we're not even enjoying it. And then we're not even eating mindfully. We're eating it guiltily. And so we're not even tasting it in the first place. So let's go over some more of the changes that you made in the program. So in the program, we have everyone do a progress tracker and it's It's still filled out, so you get to decide where you're at at the beginning of the program, and we fill it out every month to see what changes you make throughout.

And this is one, like, a really fun way to get data without the scale, but also just a really good way to, like, track your progress and celebrate it. So I wanted to point out that you went from three times a week binge eating and five times a week overeating in the beginning to zero in both of those categories.

So, you know, that is something that is so huge and I just really want to celebrate you for. And obviously that is like accumulation of all the work we've done versus just like one moment. But can you mention like a few breakthroughs that you've had or shifts that you made within the program?

Jerrel: Yeah, just like kind of like overall big shift?

Amber: Yeah, just or like specific moments insights memories that you had where you feel like oh this really shifted for me

Jerrel: yeah, I mean obviously we've already talked about like the sugar and that kind of mindset of you know Good and bad foods kind of on that same note was just like the idea of all these rules that I was making lots of them involved restriction and just the Big mind shift change there where like restrictions actually not the answer You were always thinking like you can eat whatever you want Like just pay attention to it.

And so just Working through that just like every day every meal just working on those thoughts of you know, what's happening? Why? A lot of times it was like asking myself like why do I want this right now? And yeah, so at the beginning it was very much because I was still telling myself, like, I can't have this.

And then, you know, later on it I keep going through the program, going through the program, like I'm learning, like there's more to it than like, Oh, I just can't have this. Like, is my body telling me something? Am I hungry? You know, is this an urge or not an urge? I learned a lot to just like kind of expand my mindset to allow myself the space to think about it which was usually not the case.

It's very just automatic, just eat. So one thing that we talked about. Kind of made the way through is you gave me like this hunger scale, and I've really embraced the hunger scale So it's like 1 through 10, 10's full, 1's starving And so I've assigned each of those numbers like specific for me and what those numbers mean But yeah, just like recognizing I used to live in like the 7 to 9 range like always full Never hungry.

And now, you know, I'd say I live in like the 4 to 6 range Six range, like very just neutral, comfortable, calm. So just learning how to use things like the scale, lots of things.

Amber: Yeah. And the hunger scale is a really awesome tool. So like Jarrel mentioned, it starts at a one, which is like where we're starving and ends at a 10, where we're like super full.

And then five is in the middle. We're like neutral. We're not hungry or full. And so I teach to go from a three to a six. So that's like nicely hungry to like lightly satisfied, satiated. And a lot of people are not eating there because they're snacking all day because they're really scared of hunger because they're overeating all the time.

So you had a little fear around hunger around like, I don't really want to get to that point. How did you shift out of that? And like, really feel like, okay, it's okay to feel hunger.

Jerrel: Yeah. Like a big part was just learning to recognize it. I think I had ignored it for so long that like, I just didn't recognize what my body was. ever saying. Fullness was always, I mean, fullness is kind of recognizable. Like you feel bad, like at a nine or 10 I felt terrible, but I would just ignore it.

Where we talked a lot about just like I don't know what hunger is yet. I still haven't figured it out. So yeah, just like the thought of let's figure it out and let's find out. So allowing myself those spaces. Okay. Well, if I'm not setting in an eight or nine all the time, like well, this is a five let's sit here and that's it.

That's the one. The idea that like, if I'm hungry, I can eat, right. The fear was always like, I don't even know what the fear was, but I would die if I was hungry. Like, that food wouldn't be available? Like, this is America there's always food. If I'm hungry, I can eat. I think that was almost just, yeah, probably my like, aha thought, is just like, it's okay to find hunger because you can eat.

Like, there's a solution to it, and it's not a problem. And for some reason, I always just like, made it a problem. And I thought about it, and I'm not really sure why I ever labeled it a problem. You know? I've never been short of food in my life.

Amber: Yeah. For most people, it's like the past restriction rules, like boundaries that they had on themselves.

And I know you were never like a huge dieter, but I think you've been very involved in health culture and that's kind of how I was too. I never did like Atkins or like keto or any of those diets, but I was very involved in like the health culture and hearing all these rules of like, you have to eat every three hours.

So like, don't let your metabolism fire go out. Like. As if our bodies have never functioned without three hours without food. Like that's ridiculous. Like our bodies can go like many, many weeks without food. But I think a lot of times when we start to have like all these little nutritional advice tidbits that we hear, we start to get confused about what our body actually needs.

And then we start to get scared of it signals because we think maybe something bad will happen if I get too hungry. And especially when we're struggling with binge eating, a lot of the common advice is don't restrict, don't get too hungry because if you get too hungry, you're probably going to binge, and it's not bad advice, like it's helpful, we don't want to be getting too hungry all the time, but I think it also instills this fear in people who are recovering from binge eating, where it's like, okay, maybe they stop and they're like, not getting that hungry, but then they have this ultimate, like, super scary fear around hunger, they're like, what's going to happen though if I do?

I don't know. And then what we start to learn though is that our hunger isn't actually in charge of when we get to decide to eat. Like even if we're really hungry, we can still choose not to eat. We want to, of course, when we're hungry, usually give ourselves food, but it's not going to take charge of us in any way.

It's just something that is a sensation in our body that just exists there. It's not going to do anything harmful to us. And you really took this curiosity approach to it, which is the best approach to have. Anytime we can bring curiosity to our habits, that's when everything becomes so much easier to shift.

So instead of being like, well, everything's going to be fine if I sit with my hunger, it's like, well, let's just get curious. Like, what if I, okay, now that I'm at a five, I'm neutral. I'm neutral. What if I wait like 10 more minutes and let's just see what happens. And it's like, okay, sat with my hunger for 10 minutes.

Let's celebrate the heck out of myself, get really proud. And like, okay, maybe let's see if we can wait another 10 minutes. And this is not from a place of restriction and you know, you must get really hungry, but just from a place of exploring our body signals. Because we're supposed to get hungry.

Natural eaters get hungry before they eat. That's how our bodies are supposed to function.

Jerrel: Right, absolutely. Yeah, just that like curious part was obviously very important for me to explore. And you'd say, you know, if you're hungry you have a couple options and then be like at first I was like, what?

No, there's no option. You eat. And you're like, we could not eat. Oh, I could sit there. And then like, so I would try that and, you know, see what happens. Like, will I get more hungry? Like, maybe it's because I'm being curious. Like, maybe I'm still learning. Like, maybe this isn't quite hunger. I just think it is for whatever reason, because, you know, I know there's food in the break room or something.

Like, let's see. So yeah, that was big for sure.

Amber: I was going to go back to a point you said earlier, which is, you said like restriction is not the answer. That's one thing that you mentioned. And I want to point out, like, for you, I think it was really the mental restriction. And I know so many people can relate to that.

Because, again, this word restriction is thrown around a lot. Like, don't restrict. Restriction's not the answer. And people think, well, I'm already eating enough food. And from my perspective, like, you really were eating enough food, too. Like, you were very great about getting in your nutrition, getting in enough food.

Like, we do a food diary in the program in, like, the first couple weeks. And Jerrel always had like the most amazing meals. I saw some jealous looking at your food diary, like very well balanced, very delicious. Like I was like, I want to join your family for dinner. It looks so good. So what a lot of people hear that they're like, yeah, like I feel like I'm getting in my food.

I'm getting in my nutrition, but so I'm clearly not restricting. But this mental restriction is exactly what you pointed out, which is this thought of I can't have this. That is mental restriction at its core, is these thoughts we have around food that make us feel restricted. So even though physically we have enough food, we're not starving ourselves, like you mentioned, you lived in like this 7 to 9 range on the hunger scale where you were always full, clearly your body was, it was doing okay, it got enough, but it's because we had trained our brain from this diet mentality of, what if I don't get enough, like, what if I don't get enough pleasure, I don't get the sugar that I want because I'm going off track today, and whatever it is.

So that's the thought we really need to work on is getting rid of the, I can't have this thought. And that doesn't mean we have to go into, I can have everything I want all the time. Although that's usually where we end up. Like I truly believe. And I think you do too now that I can have whatever I want whenever I want.

But people are really scared of that thought at first because they think, well, if I believe that, then I'm going to go into like full binge mode. But really it's the opposite that happens where you just feel so much freedom around it.

Jerrel: Yeah, absolutely. Like it's super releasing. Like, yeah. It's the weirdest thing to say like I can eat whatever I want whenever I want like that sounds like you will just go insane And it's like the most empowering thing that you can do.

Okay gives you total control instead of just you know Again, just like being forced. It's like, you know, this constant desire to rebel against yourself Like these are rules that you're making but you still want to just like rebel against them and it makes no sense But like yeah, just to allow that is You Extremely freeing and then yeah, like to go back to the hunger part Like I learned that like allowing myself to be hungry actually gained me more pleasure from foods when I did eat and so like Again, it's just like allowing yourself to explore this but then like giving yourself this freedom of you know if I eat a bite of ice cream and then I eat two bites and then I Pint and then I half a gallon like i'm only eating that because i'm trying to find You know You know, that pleasure again, or, you know, that like eat something sweet, eat something salty, eat something sweet.

Like it just gets worse. Like you'll never find it. And so, yeah, like a big part of it was just like allowing myself to get hungry, learning that that's okay, but also learning, like, again, like I actually gain from that for the long run. And then I get to fill that hunger with whatever I want. So like going back to that freedom, like what do I want?

And again, just being curious, learning, like there are times where okay, let's just eat cookies and see what happens, you know, and then learning like actually that when I listen to my body That's not what I want right away when I'm hungry and so Yeah, just like just the allowance. It's just very freeing

Amber: right like imagine if we were going to like this five star seven course Restaurant meal and we're like, oh, I'm a little scared of being hungry before.

So like let's eat a quick snack. Like we wouldn't do that because we have this innate knowledge. Like, no, I know if I'm hungry that the food is going to taste so much better. So we want to be really hungry going into that meal so we can actually enjoy it. So that the food is more pleasurable because we're excited about it too.

If you're having like boring chicken and broccoli every day and you like hate it and it's not like exciting to you, then like you don't really care about hungry for it because you already hate the meal anyways. And that's when you're like, but yeah, but the fun snacks in the cabinet, like I want those.

And those are exciting. But it's like, no, when you actually enjoy your meals, you want to be hungry for them. So that way you can get the max pleasure out of them. So what did you love most about the program and working together?

Jerrel: Most like, honestly, just like. Probably just weekly sessions. Like we got to meet every week, whatever I was struggling with that week, we got to talk through like, honestly it didn't come in the form of accountability again.

Like it came in the form of just like being curious, being allowed to be whatever I was that week and just like you understanding it, like having someone who gets it. So yeah. Like if I came and I binged that week. Okay, like what were your thoughts? Let's be curious. Or if I came and I did super good that week.

All right, let's be curious. Let's learn from this. So yeah, just like that weekly, like, just continual space to learn, to gain. Yeah, I think that's the best part.

Amber: Yeah, most of us do not have spaces like that in our life. And they're so important, whether you're working on like, and I think it's really important to be able to put that out in the open and say, like, food or any other area of your life.

Just knowing that every week I have a space to go to to explore this topic because when we're in our own heads, we're very biased. We believe everything we think we think it's all horrible and our life is falling apart. And so just be able to, like, put that out in the open and just say, Let's look at this.

And, you know, for us to both kind of like, look at it is this like this outside thing that we're just dissecting and like getting really curious about. And, you know, noticing it, it really helps create a lot of space from whatever's going on, whether that's a binge that happened, whether that's a life event that happened that allows you to, yes, have accountability to work through it.

But also it's just like, it's just really fun to have those spaces. And that's why I personally, I still continue to get coaching in other areas of life, like to this day, because I just find it so valuable to know that I have time and space to explore my emotions, to explore the week's events in a way where I can just non judgmentally look at them with someone else who could point out my thoughts of where I may be getting stuck And then I move through everything so much quicker, too We don't get stuck for very long because you know like oh I can't just shove this under the rug for the next month and pretend it never happened It's like well, we're gonna pull it out of the rug and we're gonna look at it and then we're gonna move on from it.

So what would you tell someone who's thinking about maybe joining the program, but who's a bit on the fence?

Jerrel: Oh, so yeah, like if you're on the fence or you're probably considering it, like definitely just get that first initial consult, that first initial meeting set up. I mean with Amber and see if, you know, you're a match. If what she's offering is, you know, what you are needing as far as overeating and binging.

But I guarantee if you overeat, if you binge, you probably know it. Amber's program is for you. It's life changing, honestly. So just do it.

Amber: Thank you. And I know like one of the things that came up for you on our consultation that was like, it's like a big comment thing is like, are my eating issues really bad enough?

Like you mentioned, you probably know if you're overeating and binge eating, you probably know, and I don't want to be doing this. But a lot of times people are like, but is it bad enough for me to get help? And that's, I think where you start to fall. So what would you say to that now?

Jerrel: Yeah, I mean, kind of like everything else, like there's a spectrum, but like it doesn't matter.

Like if you have any sense that like you need this space, then take it you'll gain something whether, you know, you it's once a month you binge or, you know, yeah, like we don't have to quantify these things to be able to work on them. Like just. Just do it. Again, definitely worth it, and you'll gain things that you never necessarily realized like big mind shift like right off the bat Like I'm a very like pretty little calm laid back person like if anyone asks me Like if you ask anyone that knows me, they'll be like, yeah, he's, he's chill.

But you're like, you're really anxious around food. I was like, no, I've never been anxious before. Like, no, this is a form of anxiety. And like when I started to recognize that, I was like, Oh my gosh, this is like these constant thoughts and worries and like what's going on in my head is not calm at all.

And so just like to be able to find things like that, like that's obviously has to do with the food, but it's a whole different payoff than just not overeating for, you know, some arbitrary reason, you know, because I don't want to gain weight or whatever. So yeah, like, you'll find things.

So no matter where you're at on the scale, it's worth it.

Amber: Yeah, I always say that if you can imagine different eating habits of like, ooh, it would be nice to eat like this, or it would be nice to have not, like, have this food stress. If you can imagine it, it's possible to get there, and there is a reality where people have that life. So as long as that's a dream in your head of like, I would like this to be different, I think you're deserving of that dream, you're worthy of that dream, and it's worth going after because This is our life that we're going to have forever and we really want it to be something that we're healthy with and that we have the habits that are really going to support all of our other dreams and goals and we need to have healthy eating habits because that's the foundation of our health and everything else that we do.

So I think it's so important to have these dreams for yourself and to have that possibility that change is possible for you and you can get there.

All right. Well, thank you for coming on today, Jerrel. I am so proud of you and all that you have accomplished in this program. I'm proud of you for taking the leap in yourself.

It's been so fun getting to see like all the changes you've made, overcoming these obstacles, things that you never thought you could believe you now believe about yourself. That's always my favorite thing seeing these like really like core beliefs and identity shifts too. So thank you so much.

Jerrel: Absolutely. Thank you. And thanks for all you've helped me with.