How I Overcame Body Dysmorphia
September 3, 2026
Have you ever looked in the mirror and saw an overweight version of yourself that doesn’t really exist?
Even if you lose weight, you still see that bigger version of yourself staring back.
You body check in the mirror just to try to find something wrong about your body to pick apart.
Today you will learn…
What is body dysmorphia and what are the signs that you have it?
Why does body dysmorphia happen?
How to stop “feeling fat” even when you’re not
What is body dysmorphia?
Body dysmorphia is when you spend a lot of time hyperfocusing on and worrying about flaws in your appearance that other people may not even notice. You might pick apart your skin, cellulite, stomach, thighs, or a particular curve you don't like. It's different from simply having a day where you don't love how you look. Body dysmorphia involves a much more intense preoccupation with trying to find and fix perceived flaws.
For me, I could see myself as a much larger person even when other people didn't see me that way. I could lose weight and still look in the mirror and see the same bigger version of myself. The number on the scale could change, but somehow my confidence and perception of my body stayed exactly the same.
That's one of the most frustrating parts of body dysmorphia. You can reach the number you've been working toward and still feel like nothing has changed. You might think that getting thinner, more toned, or more muscular will finally make you confident, only to discover that your brain simply finds something else to criticize.
Signs of body dysmorphia
Body dysmorphia can show up in a lot of different ways, and sometimes these behaviors become so normal that you don't realize how much time and energy you're spending on them. Some signs can include:
Constantly checking your body in the mirror
Turning from different angles to analyze how you look
Pulling up your shirt or checking specific parts of your body
Asking other people for reassurance about your appearance
Avoiding photos or immediately looking for your flaws in pictures
Avoiding beaches, pools, parties, dates, or other social events
Changing outfits over and over because nothing feels flattering
Spending excessive time thinking about your weight or appearance
Spending significant amounts of money trying to change your body
The common thread is that your appearance starts taking up far more mental space than it should. Instead of simply getting ready, going out, taking a picture, or enjoying time with friends, you're constantly thinking about how your body looks.
Constantly checking your body
One common sign is body checking. You might stand in front of the mirror and turn from different angles, pull up your shirt to look at your stomach, check your cellulite, or examine a specific part of your body over and over again. Instead of simply looking in the mirror to get ready, you're using the mirror to search for evidence that something is wrong with your body.
You might even find yourself taking every opportunity to analyze your appearance. You see your reflection in a window, and you check it. You walk past a mirror, and you look. You see a picture someone posted, and before you've even noticed the memory or read the caption, you're zooming in on your body to figure out what looks wrong.
Constantly asking for reassurance
Another sign can be repeatedly asking other people whether you look okay. You might ask your husband, best friend, or family member if you look fat, if your outfit looks good, or whether they can notice the bloating you're worried about. Even when they tell you that you look great, you may not actually believe them, which means the reassurance only works temporarily.
This can create a cycle where you're constantly looking outside yourself for confirmation that your body is okay. But because the underlying thoughts haven't changed, you'll eventually need reassurance again. The problem isn't that everyone else isn't reassuring you enough. It's that you don't trust your own perception of yourself.
Avoiding photos and social situations
Body image struggles can also start affecting the way you live your life. You might avoid pictures, beach days, pool days, nights out, vacations, or other events because you're worried about how you'll look. Eventually, your body image isn't just something you're thinking about in the mirror. It's determining where you go, what you wear, and whether you participate in things you actually want to do.
I've experienced this myself. There were times when I skipped concerts or didn't want to go out with friends because I felt really shitty in my body that day. I had also probably binged that day, which made those thoughts even louder, and instead of enjoying time with people I cared about, I let the way I felt about my body determine whether I went.
Taking forever to get dressed
Another sign can be spending an excessive amount of time getting dressed because you're constantly trying to find something that makes your body look "right." You might put on one outfit, hate how you look, change into another, and then repeat the process several times. Eventually, you're throwing your hands up and wondering why getting dressed has become such an emotional experience.
I've been there too. What should have taken a couple of minutes could turn into 45 minutes of changing clothes and staring at myself in the mirror. And even after all that effort, I could still leave the house feeling like I looked terrible.
Spending money trying to change your appearance
Body dysmorphia can also lead you to spend a lot of time and money trying to fix the things you don't like about yourself. I spent thousands of dollars on things like spray tans, cellulite creams, body contouring, and other products or treatments that I thought might finally make me feel better about my body. But I could change something about my appearance and still look in the mirror and hate what I saw.
That's because none of those things addressed the actual problem. I was trying to change my body when what I really needed to change was the way I was thinking about my body. No product, treatment, or number on the scale was going to fix the thoughts that were constantly picking me apart.
Why does body dysmorphia start?
One reason body dysmorphia can start or continue is that it's hard to change your identity around yourself. I see this often with people who have been in a larger body and then lose a significant amount of weight. Their physical body changes, but their brain can have a hard time catching up, so they continue to see themselves as the old version of who they were.
It's almost like your mind is holding onto an old photograph of yourself. You might know logically that your body has changed, but when you look in the mirror, you still feel like the person you used to be. If you've experienced this, it can be helpful to ask yourself:
Why might I be holding onto this old vision of myself?
Why does my brain still feel like I look the way I used to?
What do I believe will happen if I stop seeing myself as someone who needs to lose weight?
Your brain may think criticism will motivate you
One reason you might hold onto that old image is because your brain thinks seeing yourself as bigger will help you change. You might believe that if you think you're ugly enough, criticize yourself enough, or feel bad enough about your body, you'll finally become motivated to lose weight and get the body you want. It sounds like it could work in theory, but it's worth looking at whether it actually works in reality.
Think about what probably motivated you to make positive changes in the first place. If you've successfully lost weight or changed your habits, you probably weren't constantly telling yourself, "I'm so fat, I need to lose weight." You were more likely thinking about what you wanted for your future, like being healthy and happy for your kids and grandkids, having strong muscles, being able to hike or paddleboard, sleeping well, or waking up feeling energized.
Those thoughts come from wanting something better for yourself rather than beating yourself up for where you are. Constantly telling yourself that you're fat or unattractive doesn't usually create the kind of motivation that lasts. More often, it makes you feel defeated, ashamed, and like you want to crawl into bed with your snacks and do nothing all day.
Losing weight won't fix body dysmorphia
The problem with body dysmorphia is that you can become convinced that changing your body will finally solve everything. You might believe that once you're thinner, more toned, or more muscular, you'll finally wear the clothes you want, go out with your friends, take pictures, and feel confident. But if the thoughts in your head haven't changed, changing your body won't necessarily change how you feel.
The truth is, losing weight is never going to fix body dysmorphia because it's not really about the weight. It's about that voice in your head that picks you apart when you're getting dressed, tells you that you look terrible in a photo, or convinces you that everyone is noticing your body. That's the problem, not simply the number on the scale or the way your body looks.
Even if you're currently in a larger body, your body still doesn't determine how you feel about yourself. Your thoughts play a huge role in that experience. That's why inside the Confident Eater Program, the work isn't simply about food or weight. We work on understanding why your brain beats you up every time you look in the mirror or step on the scale, and then actually changing those thought patterns.
The moment I realized my thoughts weren't accurate
There was one experience that really helped me start overcoming my body dysmorphia. I realized that if I was already feeling bad about my body and then stepped on the scale and saw that the number had gone down, I would suddenly feel good about myself. But if I was feeling really good and then stepped on the scale and saw that the number had gone up, I could suddenly have a horrible day and feel like I looked ten times bigger.
That made me realize something really important: my body hadn't actually changed. I didn't gain ten pounds in the few seconds between looking in the mirror and stepping on the scale. The only thing that changed was my thought about my body, and yet that thought completely changed how I felt.
I'm sure you've probably experienced some version of this too. Maybe you've stepped on the scale and allowed that number to determine your entire mood for the day, even though you would have felt completely differently if you had never weighed yourself. That was when I started realizing just how inaccurate some of my body thoughts could be.
You don't have to believe every thought you have
Once I started seeing that my thoughts weren't always accurate, I stopped taking them quite so seriously. I started thinking about body thoughts in the same way I think about first impressions of people. When you meet someone for the first time, you might immediately think, "I really like this person," or "I don't think we're going to get along," but you don't necessarily treat that first impression as an absolute fact.
You know that you don't have enough information yet. You spend more time with the person, get to know them, and allow your opinion to change as you get more information. I started applying that same idea to my thoughts about my body. My brain was looking at my body at one particular moment through a filter of beliefs and experiences, so I didn't have to assume that its first impression was automatically accurate.
Now, when my brain says something like, "You look fat today," I can recognize it as a thought rather than a fact. I don't have to argue with it, stand in front of the mirror for another 20 minutes, or change my entire day because of it. I can simply think, "My brain is saying that today," and then move on.
Your thoughts don't always deserve your attention
We have so many random, ridiculous, and unserious thoughts every day that we don't listen to. A thought can pop into your head without being something you actually believe or need to act on. The same thing can happen with body image thoughts.
I also think there's a lot of compassion involved in this process because society has given us so many messages about what we're "supposed" to look like. Especially as women, we're constantly told that we should be thinner, more toned, younger, or somehow better than we are. We may not even know where we absorbed some of these messages, but we can still decide that we don't want to keep listening to them.
For the rest of my life, I may have thoughts telling me that I should lose a few pounds or get more toned. The difference is that I don't have to take those thoughts seriously anymore. I can recognize them as messages I've absorbed somewhere along the way and choose to focus instead on what actually makes me feel good.
What life looks like after healing from body dysmorphia
Healing from body dysmorphia doesn't mean you suddenly think you're beautiful every second of every day. It means your appearance stops controlling your life. For me, that has completely changed the way I get dressed, take pictures, socialize, and experience my body.
Here are some of the biggest changes I've noticed:
I can get dressed in one or two minutes instead of spending 45 minutes changing outfits.
I don't immediately look at my body first when I see a photo of myself.
I can recognize that a bad photo is just a bad angle, not proof that I'm unattractive.
I don't hide behind cover-ups or avoid clothes I want to wear.
I can wear a bikini or tight dress without obsessing over whether my body looks perfect.
I don't let a little bloating stop me from wearing an outfit I love.
I can receive compliments without immediately explaining why they're wrong.
I can enjoy experiences instead of spending the entire time worrying about how I look.
I can get dressed without obsessing
I can get dressed in one or two minutes instead of spending 45 minutes changing outfits. Even if I'm not wearing my favorite outfit, I can leave the house and remember that my clothes are one of the least important things about me. People enjoy my presence because I'm me, not because I picked the perfect outfit.
I don't analyze every photo
When I see a picture of myself now, I don't immediately look at my body first. I notice the memory that the picture represents and think about where I was and who I was with. Of course, sometimes I'm going to see a photo that isn't my favorite, but I can simply think, "That's a weird angle," and move on instead of deciding that the picture proves I'm unattractive.
I wear what I want
I don't hide behind cover-ups anymore. If I want to wear a tiny bikini I found on vacation in Brazil, I'm going to wear it because I like it and think it looks cute. If I want to wear a tight dress, I'll wear the tight dress.
I've also dealt with bloating for much of my life, especially after years of struggling with restrictive eating and binge eating, so my stomach isn't always perfectly flat when I'm wearing a dress. I'm okay with that now because I know it's literally just my body. Most people aren't looking at my stomach nearly as much as I am. They're probably just thinking, "What a cute dress," while I'm thinking, "Yeah, it is a cute dress. I love wearing it."
I can actually receive compliments
I've also gotten much better at receiving compliments. We're often taught to immediately minimize compliments, so someone might say, "I love your hair," and we'll respond with, "Oh, it's kind of messy." Instead, I've started practicing simply saying, "Thank you. I love my hair too."
It can feel a little awkward at first to really receive a compliment instead of immediately explaining why the person is wrong. But the person complimented you because they wanted you to feel good. You don't have to turn their positive comment into another opportunity to criticize yourself.
What to do if you think you have body dysmorphia
If you're constantly thinking about your appearance, checking your body, avoiding situations because of how you look, seeking reassurance, or spending significant amounts of time trying to change or hide perceived flaws, it's worth paying attention to those patterns. You don't have to wait until you reach a certain weight or appearance before you start addressing them.
Start by noticing your thoughts without automatically believing them. When your brain says, "You look horrible today," pause and ask yourself whether that is actually a fact or simply a thought. You can also ask yourself:
Would I feel differently if I hadn't stepped on the scale?
Am I looking at my body objectively, or through a filter of beliefs I've developed over time?
Am I letting one thought determine my entire day?
What would I be doing today if I wasn't waiting for my body to be perfect?
If body image concerns are significantly interfering with your daily life, relationships, or ability to participate in things you enjoy, consider reaching out to a qualified mental health professional who understands body dysmorphia and eating disorders.
What would you do if you already had your dream body?
Here's the question I want you to think about:
What would I start doing today if I was already at my dream body?
Would you wear the swimsuit? Go to the pool? Take the picture? Wear the tight dress? Go out with your friends? Start doing the activities you've been putting off until your body changes?
So many people are waiting to live their lives until they feel better about their bodies. But there is no perfect body that's suddenly going to make all of your insecurities disappear. I know that because even if I had reached the body I thought was my dream body years ago, my brain probably would have found something else to improve.
That's why I don't wait to feel perfect in my body anymore. I choose to think that my body is good enough to live my life right now. I accept it, I move on, and I stop allowing those thoughts to dictate what I do.
And there's actually an interesting irony here. When you start showing up as if you already love and accept your body, you often start behaving differently too. You may eat in a way that feels supportive instead of restrictive, move your body because you enjoy it rather than because you're punishing yourself, speak more kindly to yourself, and take bigger, bolder steps in your life.
You start looking confident from the inside and the outside, not because you finally achieved the perfect body, but because you stopped waiting for your body to give you permission to live.
You don't have to wait for your body to be perfect
Your body is going to change. Your weight will fluctuate, you may feel bloated some days, you may take an unflattering photo, and sometimes you may put on an outfit and decide you don't love it. None of those things have to determine whether you have a good day or whether you participate in the life you want.
The goal isn't to create a body that your brain can never criticize. The goal is to stop allowing every critical thought to control your behavior. You can notice the thought, recognize that it may not be accurate, choose whether you want to believe it, and then keep living your life.
You don't need to lose another five, ten, or twenty pounds before you're allowed to feel confident. You don't need the perfect stomach before you wear the dress. You don't need to love every photo before you let yourself be in pictures. You don't need to change your body before you start living like the person you want to be.
So ask yourself: What would I start doing today if I already had my dream body?
Then ask yourself what is stopping you from doing that thing now.
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